When working with clients who suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder) I have often found that they present with ‘my anxiety just happens, it’s not about anything specific…’. In the past this was quite the barrier for me to work with, and after some time and experience with those clients I have notice some interesting things. I’ll give you two of them here, and you can let me know in the comments what you think.
1. In the intake, even with GAD clients, I have always been able to notice some triggers that make the anxiety worse or add to it. While I don’t find the ultimate trigger for everything (which is what the client is looking for), I do find something that does something. I will often start with that, and once I open those up, more often then not the rest starts to open as well.
2. When I don’t know the triggers, I check for the idea that this that there are no specific triggers and the anxiety ‘just happens’ is itself quite anxiety provoking. That idea has so far always been on the mark. Now that I have identified that global trigger, I open it up by acknowledging the positive intent behind that anxiety (more often then not it’s ‘try to figure it out so I can know why it happens so I can fix it’). Once the client clearly sees that benefit, they let it go, and that bit of anxiety is gone.
At that point I have found that the rest becomes explorable as well. And there’s a simple explanation. The anxiety of ‘just happens’ creates the tight hold on ‘I need to completely figure this out’ which makes it that the client automatically rejects anything that isn’t a full blown perfect explanation for everything, which presents as ‘I don’t know what my triggers are’. Opening up the ‘just happens’ now opens the space for us to pinpoint and pick apart the triggers as well.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.
March 29, 2012 No Comments
Hypnosis, NLP, EFT, TFT, 3d mind…
All those beautiful ‘magical’ therapies.
They all have something in common.
A fatal flaw.
A deadly paradox.
It’s always there. Always lurking below the surface. Poking its head up from time to time, only to be quickly misdirected and shifted aside.
It comes up for the practitioners. Especially the ones who get long term feedback from clients. When they dare ask the unaskable questions, they are quickly taught to get in line.
And so what delicious flaw is it that I speak of?
It’s quite simple. The one thing those therapies have in common is the core belief that problems are simply ‘mistakes’. Things that truly don’t belong, shouldn’t be there, and are therefore easily removed.
It might be with a swish pattern, a direct suggestion, a release of energy, a collapsing of anchors.
The core premise being that change is quick and easy. There is no need to work or suffer. That to assume that any change needs hard work or suffering puts one into the category of the evil psychologists and therapists (or The-Rapists as many will quip).
Well whats wrong with that! What’s so terrible about that premise! After all, I had a friend with a phobia, we did the fast phobia sure, and 4 minutes later he was standing on the roof! No pain, plenty of gain!
Well here’s the thing. While it’s certainly true that you can make change without pain. Even significant change. The idea that ALL change is easy and painless is dead wrong (and harmful).
Here’s a simple way to prove it to your next NLP trainer. Ask him why he’s overweight, or why he smokes, or why he bites his nails, or why he gets angry, or why he has any bad habits, emotions, or behaviors at all.
And he will answer that he is human and isn’t perfect.
But what does that really mean? If all change is easy and painless, then why not? Why not take an hour, and zap em all away? Why have any problem more than once in your lifetime? Why once any issue ever comes up for the first time, don’t you simply run the magical process and rid yourself of it forever and ever?
And to that, the answer is simple. While there is a lot of things you can change that is simple and easy, there are many things that will be quite difficult to change.
This makes a lot of sense as well. Sometimes the problems we have are simply the product of a larger dysfunctional system. While simple phobias are almost always an isolated pattern, things like OCD, GAD, depression, and other issues can often be part of a global stable system of dysfunction (quite often they aren’t as well and are fixed easily). If it is a whole system that supports the problem, then a simple 6 step reframe won’t do the trick.
To solve these problems you often need to do a specific piece and then let the rest of the system ‘catch up’ and fall into a new order before you can know which bit to shift next.
A good example is building an idea and a product. While some businesses and ideas can be built big straight off the bat, in some industries you need to start with one bit, let the market shape itself around that bit, then evolve the next bit, wait for the market, and so on. The internet as it is now could not have been built in one shot 20 years ago. There are simply too many supporting factors that make it possible (the amount of people with computers, the mindset of society in regards to the web, the people trained in creating content, the users trained in consuming that content, the advertisers and their mind set, and a million other things) that were not there 20 years ago. The only way for the web to be as it is today is because it evolved step by step.
The truth is, you knew this already. You knew that your NLP trainer wasn’t perfect or God. It’s simply that you never put two and two together. That your NLP trainer not being perfect clearly leads to the idea that not all change is simple or easy. That sometimes change needs to be done step by step with the system reorganizing itself at each point. That sometimes the middle steps aren’t pleasant and that’s where many people flee back to the safety of the old system.
If you actually work with clients in the real world and follow up with them long term, you will see this truth as well. Not all future pacing is foolproof. Not all clients stay ‘fixed’. People change, and then change back.
And if your NLP trainer denies that, well then ask him why he isn’t perfect!
Ah. So now here’s your big question.
But hold on. One second here Joe. Don’t you do brief therapy as well? Don’t you get your clients out the door in 1-5 sessions?
But how? What if it’s a difficult issue? What if it needs longer than that.
It’s a good question. And the answer has 2 parts.
Firstly, there is almost always some change you can make instantly. I have yet to find the client that I couldn’t make some sort of instant impact.
Which leads to the second bit. And that is, when I identify a system-wide issue with my client, my goal of therapy is to train him to take himself through those steps all by himself. That although he might not be all ‘fixed’ when he leaves my office, he does know how to move forward and most importantly, he has learned to ‘sit’ in the middle step of a system wide change even thought it may be uncomfortable.
When my client ‘gets it’, I know I’m done.
PS I teach all this (and more) on my online supervision course. I will have the recording for sale soon enough. If you would like to be put on a notification list (and get a chance at the early bird discount), simply sign up here.
November 14, 2011 1 Comment
Here are some thoughts on the book ‘Focusing’ by Gendlin.
For ages and ages there has been a debate about change and therapy. It runs roughly along these lines. I will present the extreme sides to make it clearer.
Side A. Cause/effect is a scam. The past is a red herring. All problems, all change is in the now. There is no ‘root cause’ and looking for it simply brings pain and anguish. It’s like trying to fix a broken bone by chasing after the attacker. Proponents of this position are CBT, REBT, NLP, Behaviorism, Solution Focused Therapy (also look into the philosopher Karl Popper).
Side B. If you don’t get the root, you’ll just have symptom removal and the issue will either come back or pop up elsewhere. It’s like putting a bandaid on a broken bone. In this camp lie the Freudians, Regression Hypnotists (the ones who think it’s ‘real’), The Inner Child People.
Now obviously the sides are more nuanced. But the debate falls roughly along those lines.
Now many people find that position B is more intuitive. We are used to cause effect in our lives (or at leas the illusion of it) and when we have a problem we can’t get rid of, we can tend to feel that it has a deep ‘root’ and ’cause’ and if we get to that, it will all be solved.
Many people who use CBT feel that although they don’t feel anxiety any more, it’s almost like they are covering over a deeper problem. That it’s a ‘fake’ ‘temporary’ fix. The CBT therapist will say that those thoughts are just thoughts and you can CBT them away as well!
At the same time the people in side A have a very good point. And that is, how can you prove it? How do you know that you need to get to the root? How do you know that all regression isn’t simply suggestion and metaphor?
In addition, Freud was woefully ineffective while CBT and it’s sister therapies have been verified to work quite well in randomized trials. While that doesn’t disprove Side B, it certainly doesn’t help them.
Gendlin is the first person I have found that bridges the gap. He talks about a knowing that we have that isn’t word thoughts. That isn’t logical, liner, and simple. He talks about the ‘felt sense’.
Imagine going on a trip. You’re on the plane, and you feel something bothering you. You know you forgot something, but you can’t remember what! Now, even thought you know that you can’t do anything about it, it still eats at you and gnaws at you.
And then you remember. AHA! You forgot the pocketwatch Uncle Jack asked you to bring to his brother. Now even though you can’t do anything, you feel a relief. A tangible ‘letting go’.
When your mind flags something as ‘important’ and it’s not addressed, it goes into the background felt sense as this uneasy feeling. The more critical the thing that you haven’t addressed, the more uneasy the feeling.
Now in the trip example, even if you never remember what it was, after a while you’ll stop thinking about it. It won’t quite bother you anymore (CBT). But it’s a very different solution than getting at what was bothering you. One takes time, is gradual, and doesn’t feel like a solution (the forgetting one). The other feels like AHA!.
What regression people and Freud try to do is get at the felt sense. Get to the hidden stuff to get that release. The CBT people say to just feel better and forget that.
Gendlin beautifully describes how that root is experienced in the moment in the therapy room. And so now, instead of Freud and regression being mere ideas, you have a tangible something to point at. The body sense.
He makes explicit what people have been trying to talk about for a long long long time.
To me, Gendlin is the synthesis between the two approaches. It’s something I have been looking for for a long long time. He gave me that AHA.
Get the book. Read it. Do the exercises. It will open you up.
September 2, 2011 No Comments
Is your marriage on the rocks? Is that long term relationship about to go bust? Has it already been dead for years? Have you long given up hope on figuring her out?
In the next few weeks, I will be conducting an online workshop. I will be guiding you through my “how to win her back in 30 days” process. This is for men only.
We will be doing 5 one hour sessions in 30 days with one long term (6 months) followup. The sessions will be done over skype (audio only) starting at 9PM EST.
As the sessions will be recorded and released as an audio product, participation is free. You don’t need to provide your real name, and you won’t need to divulge any deep secrets. The workshop will be based on a practical and real world understanding of how men and women operate in relationships, and it will be very hands on. If you’re not interested in putting lots of effort into this, it isn’t for you.
My goal is to return your relationship back to the state it was when you first fell in love. You will learn how to change her back into that wonderful and loving woman. Once you grasp the principals and do the work, the changes begin to happen very very swiftly.
There are only 3 slots available, and so if you want the chance to save your failing (or revive your already dead) relationship, contact me here.
Please provide a brief description of your situation making sure to include:
1. How many years you’re together
2. How you met and how things were in the beginning
3. When it started going bad
4. How it is now
5. What you think changed
PS If you know a friend that would benefit from this, feel free to email them this post… You could be saving their marriage…
June 20, 2011 No Comments
This past week I got myself The Trilby Connection by Headhacking.
Here are my impressions.
1. The packaging is a box that comes apart in the middle, revealing the main ‘book’ with DVD’s inside and a bonus DVD. It feels expensive and hints to the high production values of the HH crew.
2. I popped the first DVD into my PC and it ran fine. The first DVD is primarily about a woman named Sarah learning street hypnosis from Anthony Jacquin. He goes through set pieces, inductions, and routines. The most valuable bit to me is when a fresh hypnochimp is brought in a Sarah gets a chance to dive right in and try it all out. You get to see her beginner mistakes, and even more importantly you get to see how even a real beginner can get the phenomena.
3. I get bored easily. Especially with hypnosis products. Many teachers drone on and on about their pet theories and ideas and I often find myself jumping ahead to the actual demos. Not this time. The editing is very very tight. It’s demo after demo with the very bare minimum of theory mixed in.
4. On the second DVD you get to see Sarah go out into the real world and do street hypnosis. You then see Anthony Jacquin and Kev Sheldrake review it and break it all down. Once again, an extremely valuable piece. You get too see how even after world class instruction, Sarah fails. You see how and why she fails, and you then see how she succeeds. In a world of ‘buy this DVD and become an instant master hypnotist’, you get a dose of reality. Yes, the techniques are pretty blletproof, but at the same time it is inevitable that a beginner will have some missteps.
5. Also on the second DVD are routines from Anthony and a few other hypnotists. Also reviewed and broken down by Anthony and Kev. This gives you a real good sense of how smooth you can get after some good practice and a good sense of how it makes all the difference in the world. This part is invaluable for modeling and getting a felt sense of how it looks when it all comes together.
In the end, in my opinion, The Trilby Connection is a flawless piece of work. The technical aspects are perfect and the packaging is beautiful. It has a real nice feel in your hand. As well, you get to see the techniques taught in a clear and simple manner. You then get to see them tested on a subject by the student. It’s all then taken out to the real world by both a beginner and by a master. Seeing hypnotists work in the real world with unconditioned street people is quite often the missing bit for many beginners. Seeing the progression of a new student is also something that’s a rare find. The Trilby Connection has both.
Until this point I have recommended that my beginning students purchase two books. “Reality is Plastic” by Anthony Jacquin, and “Hypnotherapy” by Dave Elman.
After watching Trilby, it will now go on that short list as the third must have product for the beginning hypnotists.
It’s that good.
June 19, 2011 No Comments
Here’s the standard line from the standard hypnotist “I can’t make you stop smoking, you need to want to stop”.
Let’s examine that now.
We as hypnotists work with the subconscious of our clients. Thats how we can get all the splendid hypnotic effects such as amnesia, hallucination, and ideomotor movement. We simply have the subconscious accept our suggestion for name amnesia, and presto like magic, they can’t remember their name no matter how hard they try and no matter how hard they want to.
Can someones SC work against their wishes? Of course it can! Look at any phobic, they didn’t ever want to become a phobic, they got hypnotized into it without their consent and without their willingness, and there doesn’t seem to be anything they can do to stop it.
We find that phenomena of people being unable to consciously fight the SC on many levels. We find it with emotion, thoughts, habits, and beliefs.
So if we as hypnotists work with out clients SC minds, so long as they follow our instructions during the session, why oh why would they have to consciously want to quit?
So here’s the thing. As good as we are as hypnotists, we aren’t perfect. So while we might change beliefs, habits, patterns, and emotions, for all we know there might be some pieces of the puzzle that we haven’t gotten to. Those remaining associations and learning can reinstall the old smoking issue.
Along with that, even if we did zap the smoking issue completely and remove all traces from the SC, the conscious mind of a person is their own hypnotist! Not always is it the most effective hypnotist (as we see in the case of a phobia), but it’s a hypnotist nonetheless. And so it’s possible that even after we have changed the SC so the problem is no longer there, they might rehypnotize themselves right back into the habit.
Recognizing that, we enlist the aid of their SC so that they don’t fight us and rehypnotize themselves, and so if we missed something, they will hypnotize themselves and finish the work.
And so to summarize, I think that we most certainly do not need the person to want to quit. So long as they come to us and follow instructions during the session, we can change the SC to the point that they can’t smoke no matter how much they want to. We can also change the SC to the point that smoking means nothing to them and holds no attraction for them.
However we do recognize that the way they think consciously has a powerful hypnotic effect on their SC. And so to make sure that the job gets done even when we haven’t done a perfect job, we enlist the help of their 24/7 hypnotist, and that is their conscious mind, to fill in what we missed. We also want to make sure that they don’t fight what we put in there and reinstall the habit.
This concept applies to almost any change we make. If we enlist the on-board hypnotist (the conscious) and teach him how to use his power well, we can have our clients finish the job that we started when what we did wasn’t quite enough.
So it’s a lie that the client needs to want to quit, but one that seems to work in the best interests of all involved.
Because of the demographic I often work with in my private practice (male, 18-30, Lawyers, Engineers, and Scientists) I get a lot of clients with very active conscious minds. And so I have had to develop a whole range of techniques and ideas to work with them and ‘hypnotize’ the conscious. In my upcoming online group hypnosis supervision you will have a chance to learn my methods and practice them with live feedback in class.
You can find more information and sign up here.
March 30, 2011 No Comments
Here is a small and quick piece of changework that I did with a young hypnotist who had worked with a friend and made some mistakes. He was in a pretty bad state, and I helped him move through it and learn something as well.
Now this obviously was rather easy as it was only a simple state change, and you can take the ideas used and apply them to more complex cases.
None of this was planned, it was all ‘in the moment’. If you want to learn hypnosis and therapy and train your mind to be able to create powerful therapeutic approaches ‘in the moment’ you can go sign up for the online supervision group.
[2:46:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: I talk to the SC all the time…
[2:47:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: its called ideomotor signaling
[2:47:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: have you ever had a finger twich by itself?
[2:47:49 PM] Steven: Hmm not really
[2:48:00 PM] Steven: I’ve had my eyelids twitching by themselves tho
[2:48:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: so every part of your body is always perfectly still?
[2:48:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: do this
[2:48:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: put your wrist on the table
[2:48:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: and float your fingers
[2:48:27 PM] Steven: k
[2:48:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: float
[2:48:40 PM] Joe K Fobes: now watch those fingers
[2:48:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: and twitch one of them
[2:48:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: a few times
[2:49:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then stop twitching it
[2:49:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and watch it
[2:49:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: and let me know when it does a little twitch by itself
[2:49:27 PM] Steven: ohh
[2:49:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[2:49:31 PM] Steven: woah
[2:49:33 PM] Steven: why?
[2:49:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: so thats the yes finger
[2:49:38 PM] Steven: that’s so strange?
[2:49:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: now, go and make a no finger
[2:49:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: so twitch the no finger
[2:49:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: a few times
[2:49:55 PM] Steven: can it be on the other hand?
[2:50:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then let it do it itself
[2:50:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: well I want you to be able to type
[2:50:10 PM] Steven: kk
[2:50:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: so pick a hand
[2:50:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: do the yes finger
[2:50:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then the no one
[2:50:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and tell when you have that
[2:51:19 PM] Steven: hmm the other finger is not reacting
[2:51:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[2:51:28 PM] Steven: only the yes finger seems to be twitching when I concentrate on it
[2:51:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: so look at the yes finger
[2:51:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: and Im going to ask your SC something
[2:51:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: and that finger will respond
[2:51:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: is that ok with you?
[2:51:50 PM] Steven: yes
[2:51:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:52:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC of Steven, does Steven have parents?
[2:52:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and watch the finger respond
[2:52:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: and tell me its response
[2:52:33 PM] Steven: yes finger moved
[2:52:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:52:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind, does Steven have siblings?
[2:53:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and once again tell me its response
[2:53:21 PM] Steven: yes finger moved
[2:53:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:53:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: no we will install the no finger
[2:53:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: ready?
[2:53:32 PM] Steven: ok
[2:53:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: watch the hand in response to this question
[2:53:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: and notice which other finger goes
[2:54:00 PM] Steven: ok
[2:54:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, has Steven ever raped a woman?
[2:54:54 PM] Steven: hmm
[2:55:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: what do you get
[2:55:03 PM] Steven: my hand has no response
[2:55:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[2:55:07 PM] Steven: but I can feel a tingle
[2:55:09 PM] Steven: in my pinky
[2:55:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: watch it and I’ll ask again
[2:55:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and this time it will answer
[2:55:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: fully
[2:55:19 PM] Steven: ok
[2:55:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, has Steven ever killed a human being?
[2:56:23 PM] Steven: hmm
[2:56:30 PM] Steven: my index finger is my yes finger
[2:56:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[2:56:38 PM] Steven: and I can see my pinky and ring finger shaking
[2:56:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[2:56:45 PM] Steven: but not as big of a twitch as the yes finger
[2:56:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: so now onto the good stuff
[2:56:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: it gets stronger as we move on
[2:56:59 PM] Steven: ok
[2:57:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC mind, your job is to give Steven the best life possible, is that true?
[2:57:43 PM] Steven: yes
[2:59:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind he had an event with this girl which you feel is important, yes?
[3:00:12 PM] Steven: yes but its a smaller twitch
[3:00:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[3:00:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind, you have the ability to create any though or emotion, or memory or imagination in his mind, isn’t that so?
[3:01:23 PM] Steven: overwhelming yes
[3:01:25 PM] Steven: omg
[3:01:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:01:40 PM] Steven: i felt a pulse from my head move down to the yes finger
[3:02:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so SC mind, would it be ok for you to have him experience being a brilliant and experienced hypnosis expert (pick your favorite) and as he experiences that, have him get a really clear perspective on what happened?
[3:03:52 PM] Steven: hmmm..
[3:04:04 PM] Steven: it stays relatively still
[3:04:16 PM] Steven: but whenever I dont focus on my hand
[3:04:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats fine
[3:04:32 PM] Steven: it like my pinky is tugging slightly
[3:04:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats fine
[3:04:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, youre here to help Steven, yes?
[3:05:01 PM] Steven: yes
[3:05:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you can create anything in his mind, yes?
[3:05:20 PM] Steven: yes
[3:05:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: does it make sense to you, that perhaps experiencing this from the perspective of an experienced hypnotist, that he will learn important new things?
[3:06:24 PM] Steven: yes
[3:06:38 PM] Steven: but my pinky felt weird
[3:07:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so since you can create anything in his mind, and youre here to help him, and it does make sense on some level, would it be ok for you to create that experience for him?
[3:07:19 PM] Steven: yes
[3:07:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[3:08:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC mind, please go ahead and do that now. Close his eyes, and have him experience that, and when he has learned what he needs to learn, open his eyes and have him report back. You can take as long as full minute or even as short as 10 seconds to do that now.
[3:10:00 PM] Steven: wow
[3:10:12 PM] Steven: that was… rather enlightening
[3:10:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: indeed
[3:10:23 PM] Steven: I’m usually on the other end of the hypnosis
[3:10:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: tell me about the parts that youre aware of consciously right now?
[3:10:29 PM] Steven: so its weird experiencing it
[3:10:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:10:32 PM] Steven: especially when I closed my eyes
[3:10:33 PM] Steven: and It felt like
[3:10:36 PM] Steven: I dno
[3:10:42 PM] Steven: I was looking at myself hypnotizing the girl
[3:10:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:10:49 PM] Steven: like it was like watchin it from up above
[3:10:51 PM] Steven: weird feeling
[3:10:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:11:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and what did you notice consciously that you learned about that
[3:11:20 PM] Steven: I noticed that I shouldn’t have dealt with her family issues
[3:11:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:11:33 PM] Steven: she said that she was whispering because her father was yelling at her
[3:11:37 PM] Steven: and I only focused on her
[3:11:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[3:11:43 PM] Steven: the fact that it had to do with her father
[3:11:51 PM] Steven: went completely through me
[3:11:54 PM] Steven: during the hypnosis
[3:11:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:12:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: quite a powerful insight
[3:12:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: what else did you learn
[3:12:07 PM] Steven: as part of metaphorically frame the issue
[3:12:17 PM] Steven: I made her visualize the trauma she was experiencing
[3:12:25 PM] Steven: in terms of images that couldnt touch her
[3:12:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:12:34 PM] Steven: kind of like ghosts
[3:12:51 PM] Steven: that was … sorry for my language, but fucking stupid
[3:13:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: lol
[3:13:11 PM] Steven: it was so obvious that she was dealing with her trauma in a suppressive way
[3:13:15 PM] Steven: it was obvious it happened the day before
[3:13:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[3:13:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: so now do this
[3:13:35 PM] Steven: yet I still forced her to imagine it
[3:13:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: float right above that Steven
[3:13:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: doing those things
[3:13:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: and realize how being the person he is
[3:14:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: he isnt quite aware
[3:14:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: that he needs to be aware of this stuff
[3:14:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: are you noticing that?
[3:14:40 PM] Steven: I felt my vision blur for a moment just now
[3:14:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:14:44 PM] Steven: and my head is a bit heavy
[3:14:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:15:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you notice that younger you, doing what he’s doing
[3:15:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: based on what he knows
[3:15:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and who he is
[3:15:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: making decisions that to him seem to be wise
[3:15:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: you learn what you need to learn from that
[3:15:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: in a healthy and integrated fashion
[3:15:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you learn that
[3:15:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: the emotion fades
[3:15:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: fades away
[3:16:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: as you have learned what you need to learn
[3:16:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: its a part of you now
[3:16:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: and your SC can now release that emotion
[3:16:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when its done doing that
[3:16:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: you can come fully back to the present fully awake
[3:16:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: feeling that relief wash through your mind and body now
[3:16:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: releasing that emotion
[3:17:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and becoming fully free
[3:17:14 PM] Steven: phew im back
[3:17:23 PM] Steven: wow
[3:17:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: welcome back
[3:17:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: you feel good, dont you
[3:17:31 PM] Steven: my mind feels … like clear
[3:17:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:17:34 PM] Steven: yah
[3:17:36 PM] Steven: like awake
[3:17:42 PM] Steven: I dno, I remember what happened during the trance
[3:17:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: it was good that you experienced that
[3:17:48 PM] Steven: but like
[3:17:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: learned your lesson
[3:17:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and are now free to move on
[3:17:59 PM] Steven: it felt like .. ages
[3:18:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:18:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: time distortion is one of the things
[3:18:26 PM] Steven: wow
[3:18:28 PM] Steven: thanks a lot Joe
If you want to get a taste of how to easily do work like that, go sign up for the online supervision group now!
March 29, 2011 No Comments
So you’ve been reading and learning about hypnosis and therapy for a while but you have semiaritits. That’s when you have learned a massive amount, keep going to seminars, but you can’t seem to go out and actully start working with people.
But, you well know that the only way to really learn hypnosis and therapy is to work with live clients. Theory is nice and good, and live work is a whole different thing!
So what do you do? It’s kind of hard to start experimenting on people when you don’t have the experience… but getting experience is hard to get without working with people! So how do you learn hypnosis and therapy when you’re in this situation?
Traditional therapists have a middle road. They intern by some other experienced therapist, they get supervised, and so get the experience.
But what is a hypnotist to do?!
And so I’m excited to announce that I’ll be doing a 10 week, online, therapy/hypnosis supervision!
Approximately once a week we will have a group conference call in which someone will play client (with a real problem they have, a problem a client has, or a theoretical issue), and someone else will play therapist. As the session goes on there will be live feedback from myself and the rest of the group on what to do next and how to proceed.
You will learn my powerful “what do you want” framework.
You will learn “pancaking”.
You will learn how to use ABTC.
You will learn how to use provocation.
You will learn how to create powerful change conversationally.
You will learn to use my very powerful approach. It’s logical, rational, and airtight.
You will learn how to respond with flexibility, power, and grace without needing to plan out your sessions in advance.
You will learn how to create your very own techniques that will work best for you and your clients.
I have spent a long time studying the ingredients for long term powerful change, and the time has come to start teaching them.
“My main aim with hypnosis has always been to use it as a tool to help people get over their personal problems. When I first got in touch with Joe, I had been in the hypnosis game for no more than a few months. Up until that point I had consumed pretty much every hypnosis material I could get my hands on. However, no matter how many books I read or how many videos I watched, I felt my learning curve was rapidly approaching its peak. Already after my first talk with Joe I realized I had stumbled upon one of the most intellectual people in the hypnosis and therapy field, and that is a belief that has stayed with me ever since. Joe is incredibly gifted when it comes to finding solutions to whatever problems you present him. And not only that, he also has the essential and rare ability to teach his skills to others. Nevertheless Joe is one of the most sympathetic people I know and a great friend. Now, I don’t think I have to mention what happened to that learning curve…”
If you’re already doing hypnosis and therapy and looking for the secrets to long term change, this supervision will be very valuable. We have all had those clients who seem to be “impossible”. You sometimes feel that you’re working too hard to make them change. It’s time to learn how to get the client to do all the hard work while you sit back and watch!
The tuition will be under $1000 USD.
The supervision group will be very small and space is very limited. It’s going to be on a first come first served.
Want to know more?
Simply sign up here, and I’ll let you know more as soon as I iron out the details.
The first meeting will be Tuesday April 5th at 12PM EST. The second meeting will be April 12th at 12PM EST. After that we will schedule based on the needs of the group members.
Tuition will be $300 for the full 10 weeks. This price includes a free copy of my DVD ‘Hypnosis in therapy’.
March 22, 2011 No Comments
I had some awesome feedback on the first call about the automatic reaction model. People have been telling me how it has made learning hypnosis much clearer, and has allowed them to put everything they have learned over the years into a nice and tidy box.
And so I think it’s time to confuse ya’ll once again.
I’ll be presenting my “Reality Is A Scam” model in a free webinar March 24th at 3PM EST.
It’s the second full functional hypnosis model (the automatic reaction model being the first).
The implications of this hypnosis model are massive.
It will lift the veil and give you a simple and clear view of what you’re actually doing when you hypnotize a subject.
It will utterly change the way you work and how you learn hypnosis.
I won’t be using skype this time, and so getting on the call ought to be a pain free experience.
Get involved people!
The recording of the webinar is now live and available free!
Enjoy, Share, and Comment!
March 16, 2011 8 Comments
I recently put a few dots together and collected a whole lot of information ‘under one roof’. I’m going to be doing a free conference call on skype on Wed Jan 5th at 3:30PM EST and I’m going to be giving it all over…
You probably already know a lot of this information… and at the same time you might have not put it all together as a cohesive whole. That will be my goal.
Here are some of the issues I’m addressing.
What is hypnosis?
What is an induction?
How do instant inductions work?
We always hear the experts say “tell them whats going to happen when you say sleep… or else they don’t know what to do…” Isn’t that cheating/faking hypnosis?
Can you hypnotize someone who has never heard of hypnosis?
I always hear about ‘being confident’ and being ‘The Hypnotist’. What does that have to do with my subject going under?
I hear alot about compliance and getting the subject to listen to you. What does that have to do with hypnosis? Isn’t that just compliance?
Why is the pretalk so important? Why can’t we just zap them under?
I have heard ‘inductions aren’t magic spells’, if they aren’t that what are they?
I have heard that inductions are rituals… What does that mean?
You can add me on skype at joe.10000 and IM me if you want to join.
This is all free as I haven’t yet gotten savvy enough at the internet marketing thing to figure out how to sign you up for a never-ending email newsletter…
Looking forward to seeing ya’ll.
January 4, 2011 No Comments