When working with clients who suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder) I have often found that they present with ‘my anxiety just happens, it’s not about anything specific…’. In the past this was quite the barrier for me to work with, and after some time and experience with those clients I have notice some interesting things. I’ll give you two of them here, and you can let me know in the comments what you think.
1. In the intake, even with GAD clients, I have always been able to notice some triggers that make the anxiety worse or add to it. While I don’t find the ultimate trigger for everything (which is what the client is looking for), I do find something that does something. I will often start with that, and once I open those up, more often then not the rest starts to open as well.
2. When I don’t know the triggers, I check for the idea that this that there are no specific triggers and the anxiety ‘just happens’ is itself quite anxiety provoking. That idea has so far always been on the mark. Now that I have identified that global trigger, I open it up by acknowledging the positive intent behind that anxiety (more often then not it’s ‘try to figure it out so I can know why it happens so I can fix it’). Once the client clearly sees that benefit, they let it go, and that bit of anxiety is gone.
At that point I have found that the rest becomes explorable as well. And there’s a simple explanation. The anxiety of ‘just happens’ creates the tight hold on ‘I need to completely figure this out’ which makes it that the client automatically rejects anything that isn’t a full blown perfect explanation for everything, which presents as ‘I don’t know what my triggers are’. Opening up the ‘just happens’ now opens the space for us to pinpoint and pick apart the triggers as well.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.
March 29, 2012 No Comments
Is your marriage on the rocks? Is that long term relationship about to go bust? Has it already been dead for years? Have you long given up hope on figuring her out?
In the next few weeks, I will be conducting an online workshop. I will be guiding you through my “how to win her back in 30 days” process. This is for men only.
We will be doing 5 one hour sessions in 30 days with one long term (6 months) followup. The sessions will be done over skype (audio only) starting at 9PM EST.
As the sessions will be recorded and released as an audio product, participation is free. You don’t need to provide your real name, and you won’t need to divulge any deep secrets. The workshop will be based on a practical and real world understanding of how men and women operate in relationships, and it will be very hands on. If you’re not interested in putting lots of effort into this, it isn’t for you.
My goal is to return your relationship back to the state it was when you first fell in love. You will learn how to change her back into that wonderful and loving woman. Once you grasp the principals and do the work, the changes begin to happen very very swiftly.
There are only 3 slots available, and so if you want the chance to save your failing (or revive your already dead) relationship, contact me here.
Please provide a brief description of your situation making sure to include:
1. How many years you’re together
2. How you met and how things were in the beginning
3. When it started going bad
4. How it is now
5. What you think changed
PS If you know a friend that would benefit from this, feel free to email them this post… You could be saving their marriage…
June 20, 2011 No Comments
Are you in a war with yourself?
Desperate to change and getting foiled at every turn by your own mind?
Well here’s the big secret.
And that is you can’t have a war if you don’t fight.
When you find something in yourself that you don’t like, don’t fight it.
Accept it, love it, and respect it.
That doesn’t mean you give up your goals and lie down to get run over.
You can still present options, discuss, explore, wonder, and discover new things with those parts of yourself.
It’s going after your goal in a very persistent, calm, and easygoing manner.
Think about it.
If you were part of a company and you were doing something you thought was in the companies best interest even though the upper management disagreed with you. How would we best work with you?
Would it be with fighting and attacking and condemning you?
Or would it be with a full acceptance of your intent, a full acceptance of your right to help in the most powerful way possible, and the opening of a respectful dialog where you got a chance to hear and explore about new ideas?
And if you didn’t want to come to the table because of the years of abuse you got from upper management, well then we would need to give you lots of love and respect until you realized we would respect you and you decided it was safe to talk to us and work with us.
Your mind works for you. It wants to help you. If it does something, I promise that it thinks it is in your best interests.
Fighting it will make it dig its heels in for what it thinks is in your own best good.
Respect, love, and acceptance are the name of the game here. That doesn’t mean you stop trying. It means you try by respectfully exploring new options with your mind.
Go buy Dale Carnegie’s book “how to win friends and influence people”. The friend you want to win and the person you’re trying to influence here is your SC mind. Go get that book right now, and start reading, and use the principals now. They work.
Your SC is real. So treat it with respect, and not like it’s this nasty, fighting, and idiotic part.
Stop the war. If you don’t fight, you can’t be at war. It takes 2 to tango.
Whats especially sad here is that you and your SC both want the exact same thing.
Your safety, happiness and fulfillment.
If you found these ideas useful, you might be interested in joining my online supervision group.
August 12, 2010 No Comments
So you want to hypnotize…. and you know that motivation and expectancy are key here…..
Here’s how to give a killer pretalk.
The key to great persuasion is in being indirect. We set frames in the beginning and they pay off later big time..
I set the frame way at the beginning that people who go into hypnosis easily are X and they get better at X. I say this in passing, almost as if it doesn’t matter….. “You know it’s funny how they found that hypnosis increases X, and that those with X go into hypnosis quickest and deepest……”
X = Whatever they want to be seen as…
It can be weight loss, popularity, intelligence, being cool, being in control, not naive…..
“You know it’s funny how they found that hypnosis increases the ability to be in control, and that those who are in control over their minds go into hypnosis quickest and deepest…”
“You know it’s funny how they found that hypnosis is great for weight loss, and that those who are interested in weight loss go into hypnosis quickest and deepest…”
“Whats interesting is how the research shows that people who are naive are terrible hypnotic subjects. They explain that naive people are unable to concentrate and imagine well, which are the most reliable signs of a low intellect…”
Once you have that frame set, it will almost impossible for them not to go into hypnosis…
May 13, 2009 1 Comment