When working with clients who suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder) I have often found that they present with ‘my anxiety just happens, it’s not about anything specific…’. In the past this was quite the barrier for me to work with, and after some time and experience with those clients I have notice some interesting things. I’ll give you two of them here, and you can let me know in the comments what you think.
1. In the intake, even with GAD clients, I have always been able to notice some triggers that make the anxiety worse or add to it. While I don’t find the ultimate trigger for everything (which is what the client is looking for), I do find something that does something. I will often start with that, and once I open those up, more often then not the rest starts to open as well.
2. When I don’t know the triggers, I check for the idea that this that there are no specific triggers and the anxiety ‘just happens’ is itself quite anxiety provoking. That idea has so far always been on the mark. Now that I have identified that global trigger, I open it up by acknowledging the positive intent behind that anxiety (more often then not it’s ‘try to figure it out so I can know why it happens so I can fix it’). Once the client clearly sees that benefit, they let it go, and that bit of anxiety is gone.
At that point I have found that the rest becomes explorable as well. And there’s a simple explanation. The anxiety of ‘just happens’ creates the tight hold on ‘I need to completely figure this out’ which makes it that the client automatically rejects anything that isn’t a full blown perfect explanation for everything, which presents as ‘I don’t know what my triggers are’. Opening up the ‘just happens’ now opens the space for us to pinpoint and pick apart the triggers as well.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.
March 29, 2012 No Comments
Here are some thoughts on the book ‘Focusing’ by Gendlin.
For ages and ages there has been a debate about change and therapy. It runs roughly along these lines. I will present the extreme sides to make it clearer.
Side A. Cause/effect is a scam. The past is a red herring. All problems, all change is in the now. There is no ‘root cause’ and looking for it simply brings pain and anguish. It’s like trying to fix a broken bone by chasing after the attacker. Proponents of this position are CBT, REBT, NLP, Behaviorism, Solution Focused Therapy (also look into the philosopher Karl Popper).
Side B. If you don’t get the root, you’ll just have symptom removal and the issue will either come back or pop up elsewhere. It’s like putting a bandaid on a broken bone. In this camp lie the Freudians, Regression Hypnotists (the ones who think it’s ‘real’), The Inner Child People.
Now obviously the sides are more nuanced. But the debate falls roughly along those lines.
Now many people find that position B is more intuitive. We are used to cause effect in our lives (or at leas the illusion of it) and when we have a problem we can’t get rid of, we can tend to feel that it has a deep ‘root’ and ’cause’ and if we get to that, it will all be solved.
Many people who use CBT feel that although they don’t feel anxiety any more, it’s almost like they are covering over a deeper problem. That it’s a ‘fake’ ‘temporary’ fix. The CBT therapist will say that those thoughts are just thoughts and you can CBT them away as well!
At the same time the people in side A have a very good point. And that is, how can you prove it? How do you know that you need to get to the root? How do you know that all regression isn’t simply suggestion and metaphor?
In addition, Freud was woefully ineffective while CBT and it’s sister therapies have been verified to work quite well in randomized trials. While that doesn’t disprove Side B, it certainly doesn’t help them.
Gendlin is the first person I have found that bridges the gap. He talks about a knowing that we have that isn’t word thoughts. That isn’t logical, liner, and simple. He talks about the ‘felt sense’.
Imagine going on a trip. You’re on the plane, and you feel something bothering you. You know you forgot something, but you can’t remember what! Now, even thought you know that you can’t do anything about it, it still eats at you and gnaws at you.
And then you remember. AHA! You forgot the pocketwatch Uncle Jack asked you to bring to his brother. Now even though you can’t do anything, you feel a relief. A tangible ‘letting go’.
When your mind flags something as ‘important’ and it’s not addressed, it goes into the background felt sense as this uneasy feeling. The more critical the thing that you haven’t addressed, the more uneasy the feeling.
Now in the trip example, even if you never remember what it was, after a while you’ll stop thinking about it. It won’t quite bother you anymore (CBT). But it’s a very different solution than getting at what was bothering you. One takes time, is gradual, and doesn’t feel like a solution (the forgetting one). The other feels like AHA!.
What regression people and Freud try to do is get at the felt sense. Get to the hidden stuff to get that release. The CBT people say to just feel better and forget that.
Gendlin beautifully describes how that root is experienced in the moment in the therapy room. And so now, instead of Freud and regression being mere ideas, you have a tangible something to point at. The body sense.
He makes explicit what people have been trying to talk about for a long long long time.
To me, Gendlin is the synthesis between the two approaches. It’s something I have been looking for for a long long time. He gave me that AHA.
Get the book. Read it. Do the exercises. It will open you up.
September 2, 2011 No Comments
This past week I got myself The Trilby Connection by Headhacking.
Here are my impressions.
1. The packaging is a box that comes apart in the middle, revealing the main ‘book’ with DVD’s inside and a bonus DVD. It feels expensive and hints to the high production values of the HH crew.
2. I popped the first DVD into my PC and it ran fine. The first DVD is primarily about a woman named Sarah learning street hypnosis from Anthony Jacquin. He goes through set pieces, inductions, and routines. The most valuable bit to me is when a fresh hypnochimp is brought in a Sarah gets a chance to dive right in and try it all out. You get to see her beginner mistakes, and even more importantly you get to see how even a real beginner can get the phenomena.
3. I get bored easily. Especially with hypnosis products. Many teachers drone on and on about their pet theories and ideas and I often find myself jumping ahead to the actual demos. Not this time. The editing is very very tight. It’s demo after demo with the very bare minimum of theory mixed in.
4. On the second DVD you get to see Sarah go out into the real world and do street hypnosis. You then see Anthony Jacquin and Kev Sheldrake review it and break it all down. Once again, an extremely valuable piece. You get too see how even after world class instruction, Sarah fails. You see how and why she fails, and you then see how she succeeds. In a world of ‘buy this DVD and become an instant master hypnotist’, you get a dose of reality. Yes, the techniques are pretty blletproof, but at the same time it is inevitable that a beginner will have some missteps.
5. Also on the second DVD are routines from Anthony and a few other hypnotists. Also reviewed and broken down by Anthony and Kev. This gives you a real good sense of how smooth you can get after some good practice and a good sense of how it makes all the difference in the world. This part is invaluable for modeling and getting a felt sense of how it looks when it all comes together.
In the end, in my opinion, The Trilby Connection is a flawless piece of work. The technical aspects are perfect and the packaging is beautiful. It has a real nice feel in your hand. As well, you get to see the techniques taught in a clear and simple manner. You then get to see them tested on a subject by the student. It’s all then taken out to the real world by both a beginner and by a master. Seeing hypnotists work in the real world with unconditioned street people is quite often the missing bit for many beginners. Seeing the progression of a new student is also something that’s a rare find. The Trilby Connection has both.
Until this point I have recommended that my beginning students purchase two books. “Reality is Plastic” by Anthony Jacquin, and “Hypnotherapy” by Dave Elman.
After watching Trilby, it will now go on that short list as the third must have product for the beginning hypnotists.
It’s that good.
June 19, 2011 No Comments
Here is a small and quick piece of changework that I did with a young hypnotist who had worked with a friend and made some mistakes. He was in a pretty bad state, and I helped him move through it and learn something as well.
Now this obviously was rather easy as it was only a simple state change, and you can take the ideas used and apply them to more complex cases.
None of this was planned, it was all ‘in the moment’. If you want to learn hypnosis and therapy and train your mind to be able to create powerful therapeutic approaches ‘in the moment’ you can go sign up for the online supervision group.
[2:46:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: I talk to the SC all the time…
[2:47:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: its called ideomotor signaling
[2:47:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: have you ever had a finger twich by itself?
[2:47:49 PM] Steven: Hmm not really
[2:48:00 PM] Steven: I’ve had my eyelids twitching by themselves tho
[2:48:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: so every part of your body is always perfectly still?
[2:48:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: do this
[2:48:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: put your wrist on the table
[2:48:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: and float your fingers
[2:48:27 PM] Steven: k
[2:48:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: float
[2:48:40 PM] Joe K Fobes: now watch those fingers
[2:48:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: and twitch one of them
[2:48:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: a few times
[2:49:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then stop twitching it
[2:49:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and watch it
[2:49:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: and let me know when it does a little twitch by itself
[2:49:27 PM] Steven: ohh
[2:49:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[2:49:31 PM] Steven: woah
[2:49:33 PM] Steven: why?
[2:49:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: so thats the yes finger
[2:49:38 PM] Steven: that’s so strange?
[2:49:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: now, go and make a no finger
[2:49:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: so twitch the no finger
[2:49:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: a few times
[2:49:55 PM] Steven: can it be on the other hand?
[2:50:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then let it do it itself
[2:50:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: well I want you to be able to type
[2:50:10 PM] Steven: kk
[2:50:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: so pick a hand
[2:50:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: do the yes finger
[2:50:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then the no one
[2:50:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and tell when you have that
[2:51:19 PM] Steven: hmm the other finger is not reacting
[2:51:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[2:51:28 PM] Steven: only the yes finger seems to be twitching when I concentrate on it
[2:51:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: so look at the yes finger
[2:51:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: and Im going to ask your SC something
[2:51:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: and that finger will respond
[2:51:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: is that ok with you?
[2:51:50 PM] Steven: yes
[2:51:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:52:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC of Steven, does Steven have parents?
[2:52:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and watch the finger respond
[2:52:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: and tell me its response
[2:52:33 PM] Steven: yes finger moved
[2:52:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:52:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind, does Steven have siblings?
[2:53:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and once again tell me its response
[2:53:21 PM] Steven: yes finger moved
[2:53:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:53:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: no we will install the no finger
[2:53:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: ready?
[2:53:32 PM] Steven: ok
[2:53:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: watch the hand in response to this question
[2:53:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: and notice which other finger goes
[2:54:00 PM] Steven: ok
[2:54:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, has Steven ever raped a woman?
[2:54:54 PM] Steven: hmm
[2:55:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: what do you get
[2:55:03 PM] Steven: my hand has no response
[2:55:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[2:55:07 PM] Steven: but I can feel a tingle
[2:55:09 PM] Steven: in my pinky
[2:55:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: watch it and I’ll ask again
[2:55:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and this time it will answer
[2:55:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: fully
[2:55:19 PM] Steven: ok
[2:55:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, has Steven ever killed a human being?
[2:56:23 PM] Steven: hmm
[2:56:30 PM] Steven: my index finger is my yes finger
[2:56:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[2:56:38 PM] Steven: and I can see my pinky and ring finger shaking
[2:56:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[2:56:45 PM] Steven: but not as big of a twitch as the yes finger
[2:56:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: so now onto the good stuff
[2:56:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: it gets stronger as we move on
[2:56:59 PM] Steven: ok
[2:57:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC mind, your job is to give Steven the best life possible, is that true?
[2:57:43 PM] Steven: yes
[2:59:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind he had an event with this girl which you feel is important, yes?
[3:00:12 PM] Steven: yes but its a smaller twitch
[3:00:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[3:00:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind, you have the ability to create any though or emotion, or memory or imagination in his mind, isn’t that so?
[3:01:23 PM] Steven: overwhelming yes
[3:01:25 PM] Steven: omg
[3:01:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:01:40 PM] Steven: i felt a pulse from my head move down to the yes finger
[3:02:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so SC mind, would it be ok for you to have him experience being a brilliant and experienced hypnosis expert (pick your favorite) and as he experiences that, have him get a really clear perspective on what happened?
[3:03:52 PM] Steven: hmmm..
[3:04:04 PM] Steven: it stays relatively still
[3:04:16 PM] Steven: but whenever I dont focus on my hand
[3:04:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats fine
[3:04:32 PM] Steven: it like my pinky is tugging slightly
[3:04:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats fine
[3:04:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, youre here to help Steven, yes?
[3:05:01 PM] Steven: yes
[3:05:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you can create anything in his mind, yes?
[3:05:20 PM] Steven: yes
[3:05:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: does it make sense to you, that perhaps experiencing this from the perspective of an experienced hypnotist, that he will learn important new things?
[3:06:24 PM] Steven: yes
[3:06:38 PM] Steven: but my pinky felt weird
[3:07:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so since you can create anything in his mind, and youre here to help him, and it does make sense on some level, would it be ok for you to create that experience for him?
[3:07:19 PM] Steven: yes
[3:07:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[3:08:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC mind, please go ahead and do that now. Close his eyes, and have him experience that, and when he has learned what he needs to learn, open his eyes and have him report back. You can take as long as full minute or even as short as 10 seconds to do that now.
[3:10:00 PM] Steven: wow
[3:10:12 PM] Steven: that was… rather enlightening
[3:10:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: indeed
[3:10:23 PM] Steven: I’m usually on the other end of the hypnosis
[3:10:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: tell me about the parts that youre aware of consciously right now?
[3:10:29 PM] Steven: so its weird experiencing it
[3:10:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:10:32 PM] Steven: especially when I closed my eyes
[3:10:33 PM] Steven: and It felt like
[3:10:36 PM] Steven: I dno
[3:10:42 PM] Steven: I was looking at myself hypnotizing the girl
[3:10:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:10:49 PM] Steven: like it was like watchin it from up above
[3:10:51 PM] Steven: weird feeling
[3:10:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:11:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and what did you notice consciously that you learned about that
[3:11:20 PM] Steven: I noticed that I shouldn’t have dealt with her family issues
[3:11:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:11:33 PM] Steven: she said that she was whispering because her father was yelling at her
[3:11:37 PM] Steven: and I only focused on her
[3:11:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[3:11:43 PM] Steven: the fact that it had to do with her father
[3:11:51 PM] Steven: went completely through me
[3:11:54 PM] Steven: during the hypnosis
[3:11:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:12:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: quite a powerful insight
[3:12:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: what else did you learn
[3:12:07 PM] Steven: as part of metaphorically frame the issue
[3:12:17 PM] Steven: I made her visualize the trauma she was experiencing
[3:12:25 PM] Steven: in terms of images that couldnt touch her
[3:12:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:12:34 PM] Steven: kind of like ghosts
[3:12:51 PM] Steven: that was … sorry for my language, but fucking stupid
[3:13:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: lol
[3:13:11 PM] Steven: it was so obvious that she was dealing with her trauma in a suppressive way
[3:13:15 PM] Steven: it was obvious it happened the day before
[3:13:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[3:13:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: so now do this
[3:13:35 PM] Steven: yet I still forced her to imagine it
[3:13:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: float right above that Steven
[3:13:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: doing those things
[3:13:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: and realize how being the person he is
[3:14:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: he isnt quite aware
[3:14:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: that he needs to be aware of this stuff
[3:14:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: are you noticing that?
[3:14:40 PM] Steven: I felt my vision blur for a moment just now
[3:14:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:14:44 PM] Steven: and my head is a bit heavy
[3:14:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:15:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you notice that younger you, doing what he’s doing
[3:15:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: based on what he knows
[3:15:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and who he is
[3:15:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: making decisions that to him seem to be wise
[3:15:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: you learn what you need to learn from that
[3:15:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: in a healthy and integrated fashion
[3:15:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you learn that
[3:15:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: the emotion fades
[3:15:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: fades away
[3:16:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: as you have learned what you need to learn
[3:16:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: its a part of you now
[3:16:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: and your SC can now release that emotion
[3:16:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when its done doing that
[3:16:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: you can come fully back to the present fully awake
[3:16:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: feeling that relief wash through your mind and body now
[3:16:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: releasing that emotion
[3:17:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and becoming fully free
[3:17:14 PM] Steven: phew im back
[3:17:23 PM] Steven: wow
[3:17:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: welcome back
[3:17:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: you feel good, dont you
[3:17:31 PM] Steven: my mind feels … like clear
[3:17:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:17:34 PM] Steven: yah
[3:17:36 PM] Steven: like awake
[3:17:42 PM] Steven: I dno, I remember what happened during the trance
[3:17:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: it was good that you experienced that
[3:17:48 PM] Steven: but like
[3:17:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: learned your lesson
[3:17:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and are now free to move on
[3:17:59 PM] Steven: it felt like .. ages
[3:18:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:18:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: time distortion is one of the things
[3:18:26 PM] Steven: wow
[3:18:28 PM] Steven: thanks a lot Joe
If you want to get a taste of how to easily do work like that, go sign up for the online supervision group now!
March 29, 2011 No Comments
So you’ve been reading and learning about hypnosis and therapy for a while but you have semiaritits. That’s when you have learned a massive amount, keep going to seminars, but you can’t seem to go out and actully start working with people.
But, you well know that the only way to really learn hypnosis and therapy is to work with live clients. Theory is nice and good, and live work is a whole different thing!
So what do you do? It’s kind of hard to start experimenting on people when you don’t have the experience… but getting experience is hard to get without working with people! So how do you learn hypnosis and therapy when you’re in this situation?
Traditional therapists have a middle road. They intern by some other experienced therapist, they get supervised, and so get the experience.
But what is a hypnotist to do?!
And so I’m excited to announce that I’ll be doing a 10 week, online, therapy/hypnosis supervision!
Approximately once a week we will have a group conference call in which someone will play client (with a real problem they have, a problem a client has, or a theoretical issue), and someone else will play therapist. As the session goes on there will be live feedback from myself and the rest of the group on what to do next and how to proceed.
You will learn my powerful “what do you want” framework.
You will learn “pancaking”.
You will learn how to use ABTC.
You will learn how to use provocation.
You will learn how to create powerful change conversationally.
You will learn to use my very powerful approach. It’s logical, rational, and airtight.
You will learn how to respond with flexibility, power, and grace without needing to plan out your sessions in advance.
You will learn how to create your very own techniques that will work best for you and your clients.
I have spent a long time studying the ingredients for long term powerful change, and the time has come to start teaching them.
“My main aim with hypnosis has always been to use it as a tool to help people get over their personal problems. When I first got in touch with Joe, I had been in the hypnosis game for no more than a few months. Up until that point I had consumed pretty much every hypnosis material I could get my hands on. However, no matter how many books I read or how many videos I watched, I felt my learning curve was rapidly approaching its peak. Already after my first talk with Joe I realized I had stumbled upon one of the most intellectual people in the hypnosis and therapy field, and that is a belief that has stayed with me ever since. Joe is incredibly gifted when it comes to finding solutions to whatever problems you present him. And not only that, he also has the essential and rare ability to teach his skills to others. Nevertheless Joe is one of the most sympathetic people I know and a great friend. Now, I don’t think I have to mention what happened to that learning curve…”
If you’re already doing hypnosis and therapy and looking for the secrets to long term change, this supervision will be very valuable. We have all had those clients who seem to be “impossible”. You sometimes feel that you’re working too hard to make them change. It’s time to learn how to get the client to do all the hard work while you sit back and watch!
The tuition will be under $1000 USD.
The supervision group will be very small and space is very limited. It’s going to be on a first come first served.
Want to know more?
Simply sign up here, and I’ll let you know more as soon as I iron out the details.
The first meeting will be Tuesday April 5th at 12PM EST. The second meeting will be April 12th at 12PM EST. After that we will schedule based on the needs of the group members.
Tuition will be $300 for the full 10 weeks. This price includes a free copy of my DVD ‘Hypnosis in therapy’.
March 22, 2011 No Comments
I had some awesome feedback on the first call about the automatic reaction model. People have been telling me how it has made learning hypnosis much clearer, and has allowed them to put everything they have learned over the years into a nice and tidy box.
And so I think it’s time to confuse ya’ll once again.
I’ll be presenting my “Reality Is A Scam” model in a free webinar March 24th at 3PM EST.
It’s the second full functional hypnosis model (the automatic reaction model being the first).
The implications of this hypnosis model are massive.
It will lift the veil and give you a simple and clear view of what you’re actually doing when you hypnotize a subject.
It will utterly change the way you work and how you learn hypnosis.
I won’t be using skype this time, and so getting on the call ought to be a pain free experience.
Get involved people!
The recording of the webinar is now live and available free!
Enjoy, Share, and Comment!
March 16, 2011 8 Comments
I recently put a few dots together and collected a whole lot of information ‘under one roof’. I’m going to be doing a free conference call on skype on Wed Jan 5th at 3:30PM EST and I’m going to be giving it all over…
You probably already know a lot of this information… and at the same time you might have not put it all together as a cohesive whole. That will be my goal.
Here are some of the issues I’m addressing.
What is hypnosis?
What is an induction?
How do instant inductions work?
We always hear the experts say “tell them whats going to happen when you say sleep… or else they don’t know what to do…” Isn’t that cheating/faking hypnosis?
Can you hypnotize someone who has never heard of hypnosis?
I always hear about ‘being confident’ and being ‘The Hypnotist’. What does that have to do with my subject going under?
I hear alot about compliance and getting the subject to listen to you. What does that have to do with hypnosis? Isn’t that just compliance?
Why is the pretalk so important? Why can’t we just zap them under?
I have heard ‘inductions aren’t magic spells’, if they aren’t that what are they?
I have heard that inductions are rituals… What does that mean?
You can add me on skype at joe.10000 and IM me if you want to join.
This is all free as I haven’t yet gotten savvy enough at the internet marketing thing to figure out how to sign you up for a never-ending email newsletter…
Looking forward to seeing ya’ll.
January 4, 2011 No Comments
NLP is the ultimate hypnotic metaphor for analyticals. They love to believe that working with people is exactly like programming a computer.
The problem is, it’s not a fair comparison.
There are too many parameters and variables involved in a human for that model to work. A computer is a controlled environment where what you do and what affects your code is clearly defined and controlled. There are no complexities and other factors affecting what goes on.
A person is a very complex thing in which every communication has so many variable effects that to say “if you do X then Y will happen” doesn’t hold up.
You can point to trends and techniques that often lead in the direction of a desired outcome, but to think about it in black and white terms, that A always results in B,like a computer, like NLP does, that doesn’t really work.
A fair comparison to a computer would be to one that is constantly being programmed by many other programmers too, that has been previously programmed in many ways that interact and change how the things you’re inputting affect it, that you have poor information as to the input and output at any given moment, and that has it’s own free will and choice to accept or reject what your inputting!
How many times has the “subconscious” agreed to change using real genuine ideomotor signals, and then hasn’t changed… According to NLP that can’t happen.
How many times has the fast phobia cure not worked. According to NLP it MUST work. I heard an interesting interview with Jorgen Rassmusen who talks about being by a seminar by Bandler where Bandler did the FPC and it didn’t work. How Grinder fails. How they all fail. Even though they do the techniques perfectly.
This misperception that NLP installs, that people can be simply manipulated with perfect results by using this model, simply doesn’t hold up in the real world with real clients.
Find someone who claims it does, and thats someone telling you that he doesn’t actually work with clients.
And thats why so many NLP guru master trainer people are still messed up… Why don’t they just go in there and zap a few submodalities around?!
Once you realize that we aren’t working with computers, that we’re working with real, live, complex, human beings, you begin to look for ways to maximize your success and for ways to create the most change possible, realizing that even after the ‘perfect session’ it’s still possible that the problem remains!
This is one of the core concepts I work with and teach.
If you found these ideas useful, you might be interested in joining my online supervision group.
December 1, 2010 1 Comment
So you’re getting some simple trance effects like arm levitation and catalepsy. You’re even getting partial amnesia. But it seems like some suggestions just wont stick! What do you do now?
Well, it seems you’ve discovered a very very important thing. And that is that even after they are hypnotized, unless they are in somnambulism, you still have to give suggestions properly. Thats because they don’t fully understand what you want. However when they are in somnambulism they become very literal minded and so they take what you say at face value without needing to understand what you want.
Here are 3 key things you can do before they are in somnambulism so that they understand what you mean on all levels and your suggestions work even better.
1. Visualize the effect working and then describe what you see to them. This is crucial. If you want an arm stuck using glue, visualize and imagine completely that your arm is stuck with actual glue, and describe how that looks and feels to them. Describe how it feels to try to lift it. Describe it in the here and now. This is the most important thing in hypnosis.
2. Fit the suggestion into their world. If you have someone who has experienced real glue, the suggestion will work much better. If you get a stuck arm, then suggesting a stuck name will work much better. See where you can use what preexists to slot your suggestion in as a seamless extension of that. Use everything. Their past experiences in life, their experiences with what has worked. Don’t suggest new things, simply extend what already exists. Put some thought into that and how you can make that work. Leverage everything.
3. Say these magical words after you give a suggestion “if you understand that nod your head”. It really does work wonders.
Do these three simple things and you will find that your success with suggestions increases exponentially.
March 26, 2010 No Comments
Here are a few questions a fellow named Swoop posted on a a forum, and here are my responses and ideas.
1. Do you believe that expectancy is important when hypnotising?
2. If so, what active measures do you take to increase your subjects expectancy?
I tell them whats going to happen.
I tell them about the thousands I’ve tranced.
I zap someone in front of them.
I tell them that someone with their unique qualities (it’s rather easy to find out what someone thinks is special about them rather quickly, just ask “so what are you especially good at?”) is especially good for trance.
I explain trance in a way that makes sense to them and fits with their experience. I use examples from their own life (driving on the highway, daydreaming, not seeing the milk in the fridge…).
I use magnetic hands to show them that it “works”.
I tell them after they pass magnetic hands that it’s the hardest part to do and if they can do that then trance is 100 times simpler.
I believe some more.
I add on some belief on top of that.
3. Is expectancy the main determinant of the success or failure of hypnosis? Or is the subjects innate ‘hypnotizability’ level more important? Are they both important?
One of the main main things. One might say that high hypnotizables can generate high levels of expectancy very quickly. I would rather have a 20% somnambulist with medium expectancy over an analytical with high expectancy. Once you get to super high expectancy, you already have trance.
4. If you believe that expectancy is highly important, how stable do you believe expectancy is? Does it depend more on the subjects preconceived notions and experiences with hypnosis? Or does it more depend on the skill of the hypnotist in the current hypnosis session? If a subject was to fail the current suggestion, how does this affect future expectancy?
Here is a key rule. The subjects subjective experience is king. Into this category goes past experience.
If we want to create a powerful expectancy, we must create a powerful subjective experience.
How do we do that? First of all we must believe 1000%. This creates a strong experience in our subject of knowing it will work. It’s not a rational thing, its a subjective thing. Ever heard me talk about being THE HYPNOTIST?
This is also why having the subject see you trance someone is so powerful. It’s a subjective experience for the subject, having them see with their very own eyes that it works.
The third way we do this is by doing exercises with them and then framing them properly. This is why magnetic hands done right is so very powerful.
October 14, 2009 No Comments