A Tip For Working with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

When working with clients who suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder) I have often found that they present with ‘my anxiety just happens, it’s not about anything specific…’. In the past this was quite the barrier for me to work with, and after some time and experience with those clients I have notice some interesting things. I’ll give you two of them here, and you can let me know in the comments what you think.

1. In the intake, even with GAD clients, I have always been able to notice some triggers that make the anxiety worse or add to it. While I don’t find the ultimate trigger for everything (which is what the client is looking for), I do find something that does something. I will often start with that, and once I open those up, more often then not the rest starts to open as well.

2. When I don’t know the triggers, I check for the idea that this that there are no specific triggers and the anxiety ‘just happens’ is itself quite anxiety provoking. That idea has so far always been on the mark. Now that I have identified that global trigger, I open it up by acknowledging the positive intent behind that anxiety (more often then not it’s ‘try to figure it out so I can know why it happens so I can fix it’). Once the client clearly sees that benefit, they let it go, and that bit of anxiety is gone.

At that point I have found that the rest becomes explorable as well. And there’s a simple explanation. The anxiety of ‘just happens’ creates the tight hold on ‘I need to completely figure this out’ which makes it that the client automatically rejects anything that isn’t a full blown perfect explanation for everything, which presents as ‘I don’t know what my triggers are’. Opening up the ‘just happens’ now opens the space for us to pinpoint and pick apart the triggers as well.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.


NLP’s Fatal Flaw

Hypnosis, NLP, EFT, TFT, 3d mind…

All those beautiful ‘magical’ therapies.

They all have something in common.

A fatal flaw.

A deadly paradox.

It’s always there. Always lurking below the surface. Poking its head up from time to time, only to be quickly misdirected and shifted aside.

It comes up for the practitioners. Especially the ones who get long term feedback from clients. When they dare ask the unaskable questions, they are quickly taught to get in line.

And so what delicious flaw is it that I speak of?

It’s quite simple. The one thing those therapies have in common is the core belief that problems are simply ‘mistakes’. Things that truly don’t belong, shouldn’t be there, and are therefore easily removed.

It might be with a swish pattern, a direct suggestion, a release of energy, a collapsing of anchors.

The core premise being that change is quick and easy. There is no need to work or suffer. That to assume that any change needs hard work or suffering puts one into the category of the evil psychologists and therapists (or The-Rapists as many will quip).

Well whats wrong with that! What’s so terrible about that premise! After all, I had a friend with a phobia, we did the fast phobia sure, and 4 minutes later he was standing on the roof! No pain, plenty of gain!

Well here’s the thing. While it’s certainly true that you can make change without pain. Even significant change. The idea that ALL change is easy and painless is dead wrong (and harmful).

Here’s a simple way to prove it to your next NLP trainer. Ask him why he’s overweight, or why he smokes, or why he bites his nails, or why he gets angry, or why he has any bad habits, emotions, or behaviors at all.

And he will answer that he is human and isn’t perfect.

But what does that really mean? If all change is easy and painless, then why not? Why not take an hour, and zap em all away? Why have any problem more than once in your lifetime? Why once any issue ever comes up for the first time, don’t you simply run the magical process and rid yourself of it forever and ever?

And to that, the answer is simple. While there is a lot of things you can change that is simple and easy, there are many things that will be quite difficult to change.

This makes a lot of sense as well. Sometimes the problems we have are simply the product of a larger dysfunctional system. While simple phobias are almost always an isolated pattern, things like OCD, GAD, depression, and other issues can often be part of a global stable system of dysfunction (quite often they aren’t as well and are fixed easily). If it is a whole system that supports the problem, then a simple 6 step reframe won’t do the trick.

To solve these problems you often need to do a specific piece and then let the rest of the system ‘catch up’ and fall into a new order before you can know which bit to shift next.

A good example is building an idea and a product. While some businesses and ideas can be built big straight off the bat, in some industries you need to start with one bit, let the market shape itself around that bit, then evolve the next bit, wait for the market, and so on. The internet as it is now could not have been built in one shot 20 years ago. There are simply too many supporting factors that make it possible (the amount of people with computers, the mindset of society in regards to the web, the people trained in creating content, the users trained in consuming that content, the advertisers and their mind set, and a million other things) that were not there 20 years ago. The only way for the web to be as it is today is because it evolved step by step.

The truth is, you knew this already. You knew that your NLP trainer wasn’t perfect or God. It’s simply that you never put two and two together. That your NLP trainer not being perfect clearly leads to the idea that not all change is simple or easy. That sometimes change needs to be done step by step with the system reorganizing itself at each point. That sometimes the middle steps aren’t pleasant and that’s where many people flee back to the safety of the old system.

If you actually work with clients in the real world and follow up with them long term, you will see this truth as well. Not all future pacing is foolproof. Not all clients stay ‘fixed’. People change, and then change back.

And if your NLP trainer denies that, well then ask him why he isn’t perfect!

Ah. So now here’s your big question.

But hold on. One second here Joe. Don’t you do brief therapy as well? Don’t you get your clients out the door in 1-5 sessions?

But how? What if it’s a difficult issue? What if it needs longer than that.

It’s a good question. And the answer has 2 parts.

Firstly, there is almost always some change you can make instantly. I have yet to find the client that I couldn’t make some sort of instant impact.

Which leads to the second bit. And that is, when I identify a system-wide issue with my client, my goal of therapy is to train him to take himself through those steps all by himself. That although he might not be all ‘fixed’ when he leaves my office, he does know how to move forward and most importantly, he has learned to ‘sit’ in the middle step of a system wide change even thought it may be uncomfortable.

When my client ‘gets it’, I know I’m done.

Your thoughts?

PS I teach all this (and more) on my online supervision course. I will have the recording for sale soon enough. If you would like to be put on a notification list (and get a chance at the early bird discount), simply sign up here.

Hypnotizing the Conscious

Here’s the standard line from the standard hypnotist “I can’t make you stop smoking, you need to want to stop”.

Let’s examine that now.

We as hypnotists work with the subconscious of our clients. Thats how we can get all the splendid hypnotic effects such as amnesia, hallucination, and ideomotor movement. We simply have the subconscious accept our suggestion for name amnesia, and presto like magic, they can’t remember their name no matter how hard they try and no matter how hard they want to.

Can someones SC work against their wishes? Of course it can! Look at any phobic, they didn’t ever want to become a phobic, they got hypnotized into it without their consent and without their willingness, and there doesn’t seem to be anything they can do to stop it.

We find that phenomena of people being unable to consciously fight the SC on many levels. We find it with emotion, thoughts, habits, and beliefs.

So if we as hypnotists work with out clients SC minds, so long as they follow our instructions during the session, why oh why would they have to consciously want to quit?

So here’s the thing. As good as we are as hypnotists, we aren’t perfect. So while we might change beliefs, habits, patterns, and emotions, for all we know there might be some pieces of the puzzle that we haven’t gotten to. Those remaining associations and learning can reinstall the old smoking issue.

Along with that, even if we did zap the smoking issue completely and remove all traces from the SC, the conscious mind of a person is their own hypnotist! Not always is it the most effective hypnotist (as we see in the case of a phobia), but it’s a hypnotist nonetheless. And so it’s possible that even after we have changed the SC so the problem is no longer there, they might rehypnotize themselves right back into the habit.

Recognizing that, we enlist the aid of their SC so that they don’t fight us and rehypnotize themselves, and so if we missed something, they will hypnotize themselves and finish the work.

And so to summarize, I think that we most certainly do not need the person to want to quit. So long as they come to us and follow instructions during the session, we can change the SC to the point that they can’t smoke no matter how much they want to. We can also change the SC to the point that smoking means nothing to them and holds no attraction for them.

However we do recognize that the way they think consciously has a powerful hypnotic effect on their SC. And so to make sure that the job gets done even when we haven’t done a perfect job, we enlist the help of their 24/7 hypnotist, and that is their conscious mind, to fill in what we missed. We also want to make sure that they don’t fight what we put in there and reinstall the habit.

This concept applies to almost any change we make. If we enlist the on-board hypnotist (the conscious) and teach him how to use his power well, we can have our clients finish the job that we started when what we did wasn’t quite enough.

So it’s a lie that the client needs to want to quit, but one that seems to work in the best interests of all involved.

Because of the demographic I often work with in my private practice (male, 18-30, Lawyers, Engineers, and Scientists) I get a lot of clients with very active conscious minds. And so I have had to develop a whole range of techniques and ideas to work with them and ‘hypnotize’ the conscious. In my upcoming online group hypnosis supervision you will have a chance to learn my methods and practice them with live feedback in class.

You can find more information and sign up here.

Free Conference Call #2

I had some awesome feedback on the first call about the automatic reaction model. People have been telling me how it has made learning hypnosis much clearer, and has allowed them to put everything they have learned over the years into a nice and tidy box.

And so I think it’s time to confuse ya’ll once again.

I’ll be presenting my “Reality Is A Scam” model in a free webinar March 24th at 3PM EST.

It’s the second full functional hypnosis model (the automatic reaction model being the first).

The implications of this hypnosis model are massive.

It will lift the veil and give you a simple and clear view of what you’re actually doing when you hypnotize a subject.

It will utterly change the way you work and how you learn hypnosis.

I won’t be using skype this time, and so getting on the call ought to be a pain free experience.

Here’s the linky to sign up

Get involved people!


The recording of the webinar is now live and available free!


Enjoy, Share, and Comment!


When NLP fails…

NLP is the ultimate hypnotic metaphor for analyticals. They love to believe that working with people is exactly like programming a computer.

The problem is, it’s not a fair comparison.

Here’s why.

There are too many parameters and variables involved in a human for that model to work. A computer is a controlled environment where what you do and what affects your code is clearly defined and controlled. There are no complexities and other factors affecting what goes on.

A person is a very complex thing in which every communication has so many variable effects that to say “if you do X then Y will happen” doesn’t hold up.

You can point to trends and techniques that often lead in the direction of a desired outcome, but to think about it in black and white terms, that A always results in B,like a computer, like NLP does, that doesn’t really work.

A fair comparison to a computer would be to one that is constantly being programmed by many other programmers too, that has been previously programmed in many ways that interact and change how the things you’re inputting affect it, that you have poor information as to the input and output at any given moment, and that has it’s own free will and choice to accept or reject what your inputting!

How many times has the “subconscious” agreed to change using real genuine ideomotor signals, and then hasn’t changed… According to NLP that can’t happen.

How many times has the fast phobia cure not worked. According to NLP it MUST work. I heard an interesting interview with Jorgen Rassmusen who talks about being by a seminar by Bandler where Bandler did the FPC and it didn’t work. How Grinder fails. How they all fail. Even though they do the techniques perfectly.

This misperception that NLP installs, that people can be simply manipulated with perfect results by using this model, simply doesn’t hold up in the real world with real clients.

Find someone who claims it does, and thats someone telling you that he doesn’t actually work with clients.

And thats why so many NLP guru master trainer people are still messed up… Why don’t they just go in there and zap a few submodalities around?!

Once you realize that we aren’t working with computers, that we’re working with real, live, complex, human beings, you begin to look for ways to maximize your success and for ways to create the most change possible, realizing that even after the ‘perfect session’ it’s still possible that the problem remains!

This is one of the core concepts I work with and teach.

If you found these ideas useful, you might be interested in joining my online supervision group.

Secrets of the Subconscious Part II

(You can find part I here)

Imagine a small child, around the age of 18 months or so, who is just beginning to learn about language and abstraction. Learning that there can be ‘the thing’ and ‘the thing but not the thing’. This understanding is key in learning language as words are an abstraction, an idea. They symbolize the thing but are not the thing themselves.

This is what differentiates humans from animals. This is why animals can’t learn language (outside of a few words that are pushed in via brute force Pavlovian conditioning). They can’t grasp ‘ideas’. That something can mean something but not be that thing itself. And so they are restricted to the world of concrete things and realities, they can’t go beyond that and think about pure ideas.

As this child ‘gets’ this concept and begins learning language a wonderful thing starts to happen. The child begins to engage in imaginary play.

How are those two things related?

It’s simple. Before one can distinguish between a reality and an idea, they can’t distinguish between fake and real. After all, ‘fake’ is real with the idea of fake wrapped around it. One who can’t understand abstract ideas can’t understand fake.

And so before a child knows about fake and real they can’t imagine, as if they did imagine they would be psychotic! They wouldn’t be able to realize that their imagination isn’t the reality, and they would respond to their imagined world as if it were real. That would be quite dangerous. If a child imagined that there was no fire and there was, and they didn’t realize that their imagination wasn’t the reality, they would stick their hand in that spot and get burned.

And so once we gain the ability to distinguish between real and fake, it becomes safe to imagine. Losing that ability to know whats real and whats fake would be the most dangerous thing that can happen to us.

We mentioned in Secrets of the Subconscious Part I that when we find our beliefs challenged we get very emotional. When our beliefs are challenged, we are in essence being told ‘your reality is not reality, something else is reality’. That to our subconscious, the message that you should start believing a fantasy as reality, is a very dangerous message.

This brings us to why techniques like EFT work so well. When someone does EFT, instead of fighting their emotions and reality as they usually do, instead they accept it and allow it to be. The moment you do that, your SC feels very safe and no longer needs to fight you.

The lesson is a simple one. Just like when you argue with others they get very defensive and try to defend themselves at any cost, when you argue with yourself and your own SC mind, it fights back to protect it’s reality and won’t give an inch. The secret is kindness, understanding, and diplomacy… with your own mind.

In the next segment of Secrets of the Subconscious, I will give you a super powerful tool that holds the key to controlling how you feel in any situation. This is what I teach and give to almost to all my clients right after the very first session. Using that magic technique, you can respect the message that your SC sends you and you can then persuade it to act differently. Once you do that, you become unstoppable!

Conversational Obsession Blowout

Here is an interesting conversational obsession blowout.

See if you can figure out what the main changework engine was in this case.


STRANGER: So I have a true mystery for you
STRANGER: Maybe you’ll be able to help me out here
You: fire away
STRANGER: My old friend is MPD
STRANGER: Which means Multiple Personality Disorder
STRANGER: And one of her personalities is in love with me
STRANGER: but the thing is
STRANGER: (You’re prolly thinking bullshit…sorry for my lang)
STRANGER: But any way
You: mhmm
STRANGER: I loved him too
STRANGER: But then I figured no…because of all the complications
STRANGER: Parents, friends, love, kids…ect
You: mhmm
STRANGER: And then I ended up saying no
STRANGER: Because I have a boy friend any way
You: ok
STRANGER: And then we got into this huge fight because I wanted to play the cello
STRANGER: And i sent him into this deep depression to the point where he was sesizuring
STRANGER: And we stopped talking because he got a gf
You: this is your bf? or the mpd person?
STRANGER: I’m kinda telling you half the story
STRANGER: But any way
STRANGER: He’s still in love with me…and I still care a load about him…
You: mhmm
STRANGER: But we never talk and or never speak
STRANGER: How do you get over someone
STRANGER: That is crazy
STRANGER: Because I think about him way to much
You: that’s a good question
STRANGER: And it’s not healthy for my current relationship
You: so you’re a bit obsessed with this guy
You: guy
You: and you want to get over him
You: and it’s hard
STRANGER: exactly
You: well
You: heh
You: I work with this all the time
You: personally I just hypnotize the person
You: and tell their mind
You: to stop obsessing
You: and they are better
STRANGER: I don’t think that would work on me
You: hmm
You: and why not
STRANGER: This isn’t a matter of the mind….
You: and what is it a matter of?
STRANGER: Well heart
STRANGER: I suppose
STRANGER: Oh you know never mind
STRANGER: I sound like a teenager
STRANGER: That is annoying
STRANGER: And crazy too
You: lol
You: well do you want to feel better?
STRANGER: I always manage to get into the weirdest situations
STRANGER: I have a feeling that it will eventually go away
STRANGER: But it has been a year
You: mhmm
STRANGER: Most would say just go with the MPD fella
STRANGER: But I don’t really want to leave my boyfriend of 2 years
STRANGER: He hasn’t hurt me
You: you don’t
You: he hasn’t
STRANGER: So if stick with logic
STRANGER: Then he is the correct choice
STRANGER: I’m talking to myself over this things
STRANGER: thing*
STRANGER: Any ways
You: interesting
You: so you want the mpd guy
You: and you logically think you ought to stay with the current BF
You: and it’s not easy to be torn like that
STRANGER: Nope…but I deal
STRANGER: The MPD guy is in a girls body
STRANGER: So I would be dating a girl/guy
You: Ah I see
You: and so you want him/her
You: and your logic says no
You: that’s gotta be tough
You: to be in that scenario
STRANGER: It’s irritating…
STRANGER: But I don’t do things that are healthy for my mind
STRANGER: Well when it comes to that
STRANGER: And he can make me smile any time…just one look
STRANGER: And bam that blushing pink smile just comes out of no where
You: mhmm
STRANGER: See, not healthy
You: so it’s irritating and unhealthy
You: that’s how you feel
STRANGER: Well I’m healthy in generall
STRANGER: but when it comes to him not so much
STRANGER: And when it comes to my BF…I just want to be happy with him
You: yes
You: so you want to be happy
You: and this other person makes you do that blushing pink smile
You: and that smile is making you irritated
You: and it makes you feel unhealthy
STRANGER: Oh alright, when you put it that way…it seems like happiness is just over the corner
You: what do you mean?
STRANGER: So, “You want to be happy and this other person makes you do that blushing pink smile.”
You: isn’t that what you said?
You: it is
You: and you don’t like to feel unhealthy
You: or irritated
STRANGER: Nope…but I’m addicting to missing him
You: how do you feel about the fact that you feel irritated?
STRANGER: and plus he wouldn’t date me now any way
You: so you’re addicted
STRANGER: because he has a girl friend and I hurt him
You: and how does that feel?
STRANGER: Well I was addicted more before than now
You: what does that addicted make you feel?
STRANGER: For the longest time…I would smell him every where and think about him 24/7 and listen to all the music he’s given me
You: and how does that make you feel?
You: you want to be happy, and so how does that addicted make you feel now
STRANGER: Well nostalogic
You: yes
You: and how does that make you feel
You: that nostalgia that conflicts with happiness
You: how does that feel
STRANGER: Well i suppose pointless…since I’m never gonna go any where with the f=guy
STRANGER: the guy*
You: so you feel pointless
You: so he makes you feel pointless
You: and how does that feel?
You: ah correct me
STRANGER: I feel pointless because I know I already screwed up
STRANGER: He doesn’t make me feel pointless
STRANGER: pointless =irritated and crazy
You: and how does that addiction and nostalgia that he makes you feel, how does that make you feel when you want to be happy now?
STRANGER: Irritated
STRANGER: and excited
You: so you want to feel happy
You: and you feel irritated and excited
You: and how do you feel about the fact that you feel excited?
You: you want to feel happy
You: and you feel excited
STRANGER: It makes me smile that pink blushing smile
You: and so what’s the problem?
STRANGER: I want to be happy when I think about my BF
You: and?
STRANGER: When I think about my bf I feel bored
You: so this pink blushing smile
You: makes you feel bored about bf
You: and you don’t want that
STRANGER: exactly
You: you want to be happy not bored
You: so how do you feel about that
You: that you feel bored and not excited
You: how does that make you feel
STRANGER: Well crazy
You: does crazy feel good?
STRANGER: Because I want an insane person over my bf
You: and does that feel good?
STRANGER: Not particularly
You: not particularly
STRANGER: where are you going with all this?
You: well I’m trying to understand
You: let me see if I’m getting it right
You: you want to be happy
You: and this person
You: makes you addicted and nostalgic
You: makes you irritated and blushing
You: and excited
You: and that makes you bored and not happy
You: and it makes you feel crazy
You: which feels not particularly good
You: is that correct?
You: hmm
You: so this guy makes you feel crazy and irritated and not happy
You: is that correct?
STRANGER: Well the MPD guy makes me happy but it’s not healthy…because I want to be happy with my current bf not the MPD guy
You: and how do you feel about the fact that he makes you feel that way? how do you feel about the fact that he makes you feel unhealthy things?
STRANGER: It’s irritating because I let him “make” me feel those things
You: yes
You: so when he makes you feel things
You: it’s irritating
You: yes
You: so he makes you feel irritated?
STRANGER: Well in a round about way
You: yes
STRANGER: More happy
You: how do you feel about that happy
You: that unhealthy happy
STRANGER: that I shouldn’t feel it
You: that he makes you feel
You: yes
You: and how does it make you feel then
You: knowing that you shouldn’t feel it
STRANGER: guilty…because I have a bf
You: and does guilty feel good?
STRANGER: It feels wrong
You: and how does wrong feel? bad or good?
You: So he makes you feel bad
You: happy, then irritated, then guilty then wrong then bad
You: yes?
You: yes
You: ok so let me get this straight
You: ok?
You: you want to feel happy. And you want to be happy with BF. And this MPD guy makes you feel addicted, nostalgic, happy, irritated, excited, bad, guilty, wrong, and bad. And you want to feel happy, not bad and wrong and guilty and bored and irritated. Yes?
You: yes
You: it’s tough when someone makes you feel so bad
You: so horribly bad
You: you see them and you feel bad
You: you feel bored with that bad feeling
You: it’s boring
You: it’s something that you have no interest in
You: bad feelings
You: you know what I mean?
You: bad feelings can get boring after a while
You: I had a friend
You: who had someone who made him feel bad
You: after a while
You: he got bored of feeling bad
You: and he just didn’t even notice that person anymore
You: that person was so boring
You: same old bad feeling
You: over and over and over
You: it gets boring
You: that cycle
You: or bad
You: it’s boring
You: nothing to see here
You: you know what I mean by that, don’t you.
You: yes
You: and he realized something very important
You: that once he felt that bored feeling
You: that being bored with feeling bad
You: he couldn’t go back
You: it was over
You: forever
You: he was bored with that bad feeling
You: and he stayed bored
You: forever
You: anytime that person tried to bring him back
You: that bored feeling would be there
You: and he would feel zero interest
You: he would feel irritation
You: but mostly complete disinterest
You: you feel that now what I’m saying
You: don’t you
You: yes
You: and so what was your problem?
You: it’s gone now, isn’t it
You: completely gone
You: the harder you look for it
You: the further it goes away
You: and disappears
You: so boring
You: the more you try
You: the more it’s gone
You: meaningless
You: Booooorrrring
You: isn’t that so
You: say thank you to the nice hypnotist 🙂
STRANGER: thank you to the nice hypnotist
You: think about that MPD person now, how do you feel
You: how do you feel about that person
STRANGER: Empty…is what I would call it
You: yep
You: it’s all over, isn’t it
STRANGER: You’re a very interesting character
You: now here is the interesting thing
You: and watch this
You: all that excitement and addiction and blushing smile
You: all that
You: has simply moved over
You: right on to your BF
You: even stronger now
You: on your BF
STRANGER: *smiles*
You: think about your BF and feel that strongly now
You: so powerful
You: so amazing
You: he looks at you
You: your wonderful bf
You: and you feel that blushing smile
You: you can’t help yourself
You: that feeling
You: that excitement
You: like wow
You: WOW
You: 😀
STRANGER: This is ridiculous/crazy/insane/awesome
You: and the more you spent time with him
You: the better and better it gets now
You: better and better
You: stringer and stronger
You: so wonderful
You: that happy, exciting, healthy, feeling
You: so sweet
STRANGER: *smiles*
You: that feels so right, doesn’t it
STRANGER: And bizarre
You: yes
You: and healthy
You: and **right*

Note: I later installed the ability to remove the feeling from her boyfriend also, I didn’t leave her feeling that way with her boyfriend with no way out.


When I first began looking into hypnosis I was very attracted to NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis.

Its all so elegant and and theoretically beautiful. NLP even says that it needs not be true because it’s useful!

When I opened my practice I was in for quite the surprise. My clients need to change on a deep powerful level, and NLP didn’t seem to do the trick. It works really well for phobias and other minor issues, but for the fellow sitting in my chair with anxiety disorder it simply didn’t do the job.

I turned to hypnoanalysis to find what I was looking for. I got Cal Banyans 5 Path DVD set and found it to be eye opening. I now use Cal’s methods in my sessions as my basic guide.

Of course my experience with NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis was useful, I still feel that you don’t need to prove something thats useful. It’s simply that hypnoanalysis works for me in my practice.

This leads me to my new method of brief therapy. It mirrors the process of age regression, yet needs no formal induction of trance and still gets the same results. I will be writing about my method extensively over the next few months.

The first step in my method is to illustrate to the client how our logic is affected by what we feel. We accomplish this by explaining to the client that many mothers see their children as very cute even though it might not be the objective truth. The mothers aren’t lying… they really truly see that their children are cuter then other kids!

This is a prime example of how our emotions color our logical thinking. The emotion that the mother feels for her child colors her thinking to the point that she actually sees her child as cuter.

Once our client understands this we are well on our way to establishing a neutral point of view for that client. This is a significant therapeutic achievement in its own right, and it helps us greatly in our work as we proceed.

New therapy method

I have recently designed a new method of brief therapy. It does not need a formal trance induction and is quite powerful and life changing.

I have started writing a book on my method and I will post some of my thoughts from the book on here from time to time.


So this girl is feeling homesick and wants some relief. How can we help her in a few short minutes?

First off let her know that your going to be asking interesting questions and that she should bear with you here.

Ask her how she knows she is homesick. Where does she feel that inside? Is it a bubbly feeling in her pinky finger? Or is it a heavy feeling in her chest? If the feeling had a color, what color would it be? How would it sound? What is the texture?

What is the opposite of homesick? If she felt that how would it feel? What physical feelings would there be to let her know that she is feeling that? If the feeling had a color, what color would it be? How would it sound? What is the texture?

After you have this, increase the homesickness by increasing all of those sensations. Use her exact words. Write them down if you must. So if she says its a sharp concentrated feeling in her shoulders and its green and it sounds high pitched, have her get it sharper and more concentrated and even greener and even higher pitched. Then decrease it. You want to play a bit here and establish control over the feeling. Make it stronger and weaker a few times.

Now play with the feeling that is the opposite of homesickness. Establish control over this one also. Make it stronger and weaker a few times.

Now clear her state and have her close her eyes for a few seconds and have the good feeling pour into her. Now have her open her eyes and the feeling stays there. Do it again. And again. With each time make it go quicker and quicker. Until the point where a blink makes her feel that feeling.

You have now anchored a blink to feeling the good feeling. I would suppose she blinks often during the day…….

Of course you can use this for other feelings also.