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A Tip For Working with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

When working with clients who suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder) I have often found that they present with ‘my anxiety just happens, it’s not about anything specific…’. In the past this was quite the barrier for me to work with, and after some time and experience with those clients I have notice some interesting things. I’ll give you two of them here, and you can let me know in the comments what you think.

1. In the intake, even with GAD clients, I have always been able to notice some triggers that make the anxiety worse or add to it. While I don’t find the ultimate trigger for everything (which is what the client is looking for), I do find something that does something. I will often start with that, and once I open those up, more often then not the rest starts to open as well.

2. When I don’t know the triggers, I check for the idea that this that there are no specific triggers and the anxiety ‘just happens’ is itself quite anxiety provoking. That idea has so far always been on the mark. Now that I have identified that global trigger, I open it up by acknowledging the positive intent behind that anxiety (more often then not it’s ‘try to figure it out so I can know why it happens so I can fix it’). Once the client clearly sees that benefit, they let it go, and that bit of anxiety is gone.

At that point I have found that the rest becomes explorable as well. And there’s a simple explanation. The anxiety of ‘just happens’ creates the tight hold on ‘I need to completely figure this out’ which makes it that the client automatically rejects anything that isn’t a full blown perfect explanation for everything, which presents as ‘I don’t know what my triggers are’. Opening up the ‘just happens’ now opens the space for us to pinpoint and pick apart the triggers as well.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.

Joe

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NLP’s Fatal Flaw

Hypnosis, NLP, EFT, TFT, 3d mind…

All those beautiful ‘magical’ therapies.

They all have something in common.

A fatal flaw.

A deadly paradox.

It’s always there. Always lurking below the surface. Poking its head up from time to time, only to be quickly misdirected and shifted aside.

It comes up for the practitioners. Especially the ones who get long term feedback from clients. When they dare ask the unaskable questions, they are quickly taught to get in line.

And so what delicious flaw is it that I speak of?

It’s quite simple. The one thing those therapies have in common is the core belief that problems are simply ‘mistakes’. Things that truly don’t belong, shouldn’t be there, and are therefore easily removed.

It might be with a swish pattern, a direct suggestion, a release of energy, a collapsing of anchors.

The core premise being that change is quick and easy. There is no need to work or suffer. That to assume that any change needs hard work or suffering puts one into the category of the evil psychologists and therapists (or The-Rapists as many will quip).

Well whats wrong with that! What’s so terrible about that premise! After all, I had a friend with a phobia, we did the fast phobia sure, and 4 minutes later he was standing on the roof! No pain, plenty of gain!

Well here’s the thing. While it’s certainly true that you can make change without pain. Even significant change. The idea that ALL change is easy and painless is dead wrong (and harmful).

Here’s a simple way to prove it to your next NLP trainer. Ask him why he’s overweight, or why he smokes, or why he bites his nails, or why he gets angry, or why he has any bad habits, emotions, or behaviors at all.

And he will answer that he is human and isn’t perfect.

But what does that really mean? If all change is easy and painless, then why not? Why not take an hour, and zap em all away? Why have any problem more than once in your lifetime? Why once any issue ever comes up for the first time, don’t you simply run the magical process and rid yourself of it forever and ever?

And to that, the answer is simple. While there is a lot of things you can change that is simple and easy, there are many things that will be quite difficult to change.

This makes a lot of sense as well. Sometimes the problems we have are simply the product of a larger dysfunctional system. While simple phobias are almost always an isolated pattern, things like OCD, GAD, depression, and other issues can often be part of a global stable system of dysfunction (quite often they aren’t as well and are fixed easily). If it is a whole system that supports the problem, then a simple 6 step reframe won’t do the trick.

To solve these problems you often need to do a specific piece and then let the rest of the system ‘catch up’ and fall into a new order before you can know which bit to shift next.

A good example is building an idea and a product. While some businesses and ideas can be built big straight off the bat, in some industries you need to start with one bit, let the market shape itself around that bit, then evolve the next bit, wait for the market, and so on. The internet as it is now could not have been built in one shot 20 years ago. There are simply too many supporting factors that make it possible (the amount of people with computers, the mindset of society in regards to the web, the people trained in creating content, the users trained in consuming that content, the advertisers and their mind set, and a million other things) that were not there 20 years ago. The only way for the web to be as it is today is because it evolved step by step.

The truth is, you knew this already. You knew that your NLP trainer wasn’t perfect or God. It’s simply that you never put two and two together. That your NLP trainer not being perfect clearly leads to the idea that not all change is simple or easy. That sometimes change needs to be done step by step with the system reorganizing itself at each point. That sometimes the middle steps aren’t pleasant and that’s where many people flee back to the safety of the old system.

If you actually work with clients in the real world and follow up with them long term, you will see this truth as well. Not all future pacing is foolproof. Not all clients stay ‘fixed’. People change, and then change back.

And if your NLP trainer denies that, well then ask him why he isn’t perfect!

Ah. So now here’s your big question.

But hold on. One second here Joe. Don’t you do brief therapy as well? Don’t you get your clients out the door in 1-5 sessions?

But how? What if it’s a difficult issue? What if it needs longer than that.

It’s a good question. And the answer has 2 parts.

Firstly, there is almost always some change you can make instantly. I have yet to find the client that I couldn’t make some sort of instant impact.

Which leads to the second bit. And that is, when I identify a system-wide issue with my client, my goal of therapy is to train him to take himself through those steps all by himself. That although he might not be all ‘fixed’ when he leaves my office, he does know how to move forward and most importantly, he has learned to ‘sit’ in the middle step of a system wide change even thought it may be uncomfortable.

When my client ‘gets it’, I know I’m done.

Your thoughts?

PS I teach all this (and more) on my online supervision course. I will have the recording for sale soon enough. If you would like to be put on a notification list (and get a chance at the early bird discount), simply sign up here.

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‘Focusing’ by Gendlin

Here are some thoughts on the book ‘Focusing’ by Gendlin.

For ages and ages there has been a debate about change and therapy. It runs roughly along these lines. I will present the extreme sides to make it clearer.

Side A. Cause/effect is a scam. The past is a red herring. All problems, all change is in the now. There is no ‘root cause’ and looking for it simply brings pain and anguish. It’s like trying to fix a broken bone by chasing after the attacker. Proponents of this position are CBT, REBT, NLP, Behaviorism, Solution Focused Therapy (also look into the philosopher Karl Popper).

Side B. If you don’t get the root, you’ll just have symptom removal and the issue will either come back or pop up elsewhere. It’s like putting a bandaid on a broken bone. In this camp lie the Freudians, Regression Hypnotists (the ones who think it’s ‘real’), The Inner Child People.

Now obviously the sides are more nuanced. But the debate falls roughly along those lines.

Now many people find that position B is more intuitive. We are used to cause effect in our lives (or at leas the illusion of it) and when we have a problem we can’t get rid of, we can tend to feel that it has a deep ‘root’ and ’cause’ and if we get to that, it will all be solved.

Many people who use CBT feel that although they don’t feel anxiety any more, it’s almost like they are covering over a deeper problem. That it’s a ‘fake’ ‘temporary’ fix. The CBT therapist will say that those thoughts are just thoughts and you can CBT them away as well!

At the same time the people in side A have a very good point. And that is, how can you prove it? How do you know that you need to get to the root? How do you know that all regression isn’t simply suggestion and metaphor?

In addition, Freud was woefully ineffective while CBT and it’s sister therapies have been verified to work quite well in randomized trials. While that doesn’t disprove Side B, it certainly doesn’t help them.

Gendlin is the first person I have found that bridges the gap. He talks about a knowing that we have that isn’t word thoughts. That isn’t logical, liner, and simple. He talks about the ‘felt sense’.

Imagine going on a trip. You’re on the plane, and you feel something bothering you. You know you forgot something, but you can’t remember what! Now, even thought you know that you can’t do anything about it, it still eats at you and gnaws at you.

And then you remember. AHA! You forgot the pocketwatch Uncle Jack asked you to bring to his brother. Now even though you can’t do anything, you feel a relief. A tangible ‘letting go’.

When your mind flags something as ‘important’ and it’s not addressed, it goes into the background felt sense as this uneasy feeling. The more critical the thing that you haven’t addressed, the more uneasy the feeling.

Now in the trip example, even if you never remember what it was, after a while you’ll stop thinking about it. It won’t quite bother you anymore (CBT). But it’s a very different solution than getting at what was bothering you. One takes time, is gradual, and doesn’t feel like a solution (the forgetting one). The other feels like AHA!.

What regression people and Freud try to do is get at the felt sense. Get to the hidden stuff to get that release. The CBT people say to just feel better and forget that.

Gendlin beautifully describes how that root is experienced in the moment in the therapy room. And so now, instead of Freud and regression being mere ideas, you have a tangible something to point at. The body sense.

He makes explicit what people have been trying to talk about for a long long long time.

To me, Gendlin is the synthesis between the two approaches. It’s something I have been looking for for a long long time. He gave me that AHA.

Get the book. Read it. Do the exercises. It will open you up.

Joe

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What is Hypnosis Part 2, De-constructing Heap

Michael Heap has written a wonderful article on hypnosis. You can find it here.

I think that it’s a wonderful article. Heap comes very very close to understanding hypnosis.

In light of my recent understandings I’ll now show where he’s wrong.

Read the Heap article first. Without it you won’t quite understand what I’m talking about here.

Enjoy.

Heap talks about the importance of automaticity. And thats great. However he struggles to understand how that automaticity is created. Here is a quote

“There appears to be a consensus amongst academic psychologists who study hypnosis that any theory of hypnosis must account for the subjective experiences of involuntariness and realism that the suggestible subject finds so powerful.

One line of approach that is now popular is to consider that when responding to suggestion, the highly suggestible person is able to exclude from conscious awareness elements of the experience that would normally be available to consciousness. For example, when I raise my arm I am conscious of my arm lifting up and my intention to lift my arm. If however I am able to exclude from conscious representation my intention to lift my arm, it will seem to me that my arm is “lifting on its own”, i.e. involuntarily.

Similarly, if I am given the suggestion that my best friend is standing in front of me, I may make the effort to imagine him, to think of his voice, to imagine my feelings on seeing him, and so on. If I can remove from consciousness awareness the effort and intention that I make in creating this experience, then it will seem more like my friend is really there. To develop these ideas we can and indeed must – use models and theories from mainstream cognitive psychology and neuroscience.”

So Heaps solution to automaticity is the exclusion from awareness that I am choosing to do the act.

I find this absurd.

Classic conditioning has long ago proven that we can condition a reflex. And so if I hit your knee with a hammer a few times and at the same time I ring a bell, and then I only ring the bell, it will automatically and involuntarily twitch (Twitmyer, E. B. (1905). Knee jerks without simulation of the patellar tendon. Psychological Bulletin, 2, 43.)! In that case you don’t postulate that the person has decided to twitch the knee but has excluded that knowledge from awareness. Salter (1941) talks about using classical conditioning to condition pupil dilation. Would Heap argue that this is also voluntary but excluded from conscious awareness?!

And so once we have shown true automaticity, let me give you another example. One which Heap brings earlier in the paper.

The lemon test. If you imagine a lemon vividly enough you start to salivate.

I once again ask, is the secretion of saliva a voluntary act which you excluding from conscious awareness?!

Now of course you voluntarily imagined the lemon which then led to the saliva, but the saliva itself is involuntary. Salivating is something you can’t do it voluntarily and on command!

And so we have proven a key key point. And that is “If I imagine a context for which there is an appropriate response, that response will involuntarily be elicited”. And so you can’t vividly imagine the lemon without salivating. And therefore, so long as you imagine the lemon, the saliva is involuntary.

With that in mind, explaining an arm lift that happens without effort is rather simple. So long as you imagine a context in which that response is appropriate (helium balloons), the arm will respond with true automaticity.

Now lets take it further. Let’s say you imagine a context in which every response happens. Like the idea that the hypnotists is in full control. In that case, so long as you continued to imagine that, then responding to the hypnotist would be genuine, automatic, and involuntary. The only solution you would have would be to stop imagining that the hypnotist was in control.

And so here is the final step. Lets say you imagined that the hypnotist is in control, and you also imagined that you have no control over any of your imagining. In that case, there would be an automatic response of being unable to stop imagining this reality! And so you are genuinely and truly stuck! We have closed the door or stopping to imagine via imagination! We have closed the loop!

THAT is what hypnosis is. True honest automaticity.

Lets move on in Heaps words.

“Let me now describe three experiments and challenge you to think about the possible explanations in terms similar to those I have just described.

Hypnotically suggestible subjects when given the suggestion that they cannot see a chair in front of them may report convincingly that they cannot see anything. Yet when asked to walk across to the other side of the room they walk around the chair. People who are told that they must only ‘pretend to be hypnotised’ usually bump into the chair (Orne, 1962).

Secondly we suggest to some very suggestible subjects that they can no longer hear their own voices. In the case of those who respond to this suggestion we then ask them to speak into a microphone that is connected to an amplifier and a pair of headphones that the subject wears. The amplifier causes a delay of say half a second in the subject’s speech that he hears through the headphones. This is called ‘delayed auditory feedback’ and it is very difficult for people to speak coherently when at the same time they are hearing their voices delayed for a fraction of a second

What happens to those subjects who insist that they cannot hear their voice? With delayed auditory feedback their speech is disrupted as under normal conditions (Barber & Calverley, 1964)!

Finally, subjects learn a list of words and are then told that they cannot remember any of these words until a signal is given. Some very suggestible subjects may report complete or almost complete amnesia for the words. However they still show a characteristic electroencephalographic response when presented with words that appeared on the list Allen, Iacono, Laravuso, & Dunn, 1995; Schnyer & Allen, 1995) and this material still interferes with the subjects’ recall of another list of words that was not included in the amnesia suggestion (Coe, Basden, Basden & Graham, 1976).

Some people think that the results of these experiments indicate that these very suggestible subjects are simply pretending. With no other evidence this is the best explanation. However, the further evidence that has accumulated has led most researchers to reject this explanation, although it is still entirely possible that some subjects may be pretending.

What seems to be happening in each of these experiments is that very suggestible subjects have the ability to exclude from consciousness awareness the explicit representation of the stimulus – hearing their voice, seeing the chair, or recalling the list of words. However, these stimuli are still implicitly registered in their behaviour and thinking in the usual way – their speech is affected by delayed auditory feedback, they avoid bumping into the chair, and the ‘forgotten’ material still interferes with new learning. This is a plausible way of understanding what is happening.”

Powerful stuff!

But there is a solution…

Here it is.

In every example he gives a suggestion presupposes awareness that contradicts the suggestion itself. If you tell me not to see a specific chair, then at some level I need to be aware of the chair in order not to see it! If I wasn’t aware of the chair at all, then how would I know what not to see? It’s like most of my clients who want their problem gone. But so long as that is their goal, they presuppose having the problem for eternity! You can’t know something is gone unless it exists at a minimum as an idea.

The same is true in the other 2 examples. In order for the subjects mind to process the suggestion, it has to be aware of what it’s supposed to be unaware of. Hence the ‘hidden observer’. The suggestion itself builds in that hidden observer!!

Here is how to really test it. Suggest that a subject is completely blind. Then see what happens.

Salter (1941 “What is Hypnosis”) talks about suggesting deafness and then firing a gun next to the subjects ear. The subject didn’t flinch.

Now if I’m correct (as the lemon test proves without doubt), that means we simply need to imagine a context vividly and the resulting response will be a hypnotic one.

This depends on 2 things.
1. A subject with a good imagination.
2. A hypnotist who gives good suggestions. Most hypnotists say ‘your arm is stuck’. Thats a bad suggestion (unless the subject has responded to that type of suggestion already). In that suggestion you hope the subject imagines your command to be true and therefore you get the result.
A good suggestion is one where you tell the subject to imagine the context “Imagine I’m in control of your reality”, and then ‘closes the door’ via imagination “imagine you are unable to control your imaginings, even this one”.

The rest is simple. The more we are dissociated from external reality, the better we imagine. As in a sensory deprivation tank, as in REM sleep. In hypnosis the subject is dissociated from external reality and very strongly associated to the reality of the hypnotist creating reality. Hence the zombie look you often see. It’s dissociation from external reality (excluding the hypnotist and what he suggests). And so an as I proved in Part 1.

Your thoughts?

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Covert Text Hypnosis

Here is a beautiful example of a covert arm levitation via IM. The subject new he was being hypnotized, but did not know that I was making his arm lift. When I revealed that to him, he was blown away.

There’s a lot of therapeutic stuff here as well, so read it carefully and get what you can out of it.

Enjoy and Share,

Joe

[4:06:37 PM] craig galvin: u ever been hypnotised
[4:06:59 PM] Jake: In a sense, yes?
[4:07:03 PM] craig galvin: formally
[4:07:06 PM] craig galvin: with an induction
[4:07:10 PM] craig galvin: not just day to day stuff
[4:07:37 PM] Jake: Joe tried to zap me, but I “refused to let him speak to my unconscious” over skype.
[4:07:56 PM] craig galvin: i believe consciously they will expect something, BUT, the minute u fire their imagination and get something happening, it then responds at an unconscious level,.
[4:08:06 PM] craig galvin: why did u refuse
[4:08:34 PM] Jake: Because, I didn’t believe it would work and I kinda’ got a bit aggravated over the whole “unconscious stuff”.
[4:09:04 PM] craig galvin: so, ok
[4:09:10 PM] craig galvin: you didnt believe it would work
[4:09:12 PM] Jake: In my mind I was just like, “Zap me already”, stop with all the conscious/unconscious stuff”.
[4:09:16 PM] craig galvin: yet you are studying the field of hypnosis
[4:09:18 PM] craig galvin: correct
[4:09:34 PM] Jake: Correct.
[4:09:45 PM] Jake: I’m building my beliefs with what will work.
[4:09:47 PM] craig galvin: ok so does it matter, whether its face to face,
[4:09:51 PM] craig galvin: online
[4:09:52 PM] craig galvin: or in a shop
[4:10:12 PM] Jake: Not really, as long as I am receptive to his suggestion.
[4:10:18 PM] craig galvin: ok, so
[4:10:33 PM] craig galvin: you are studying it, and as long as u r receptive to his suggestion or anyones,
[4:10:36 PM] craig galvin: u would agree to do it
[4:10:39 PM] craig galvin: correct?
[4:10:46 PM] Jake: Probably.
[4:11:01 PM] Jake: I’m willing to believe that I’m cool when someone tells me that I am.
[4:11:04 PM] craig galvin: ok, so how about if the suggestion was just to let u experience what it feels like
[4:11:11 PM] craig galvin: because that benefits you how?
[4:11:15 PM] Jake: So, why not other things such as I feel relaxed when they suggest to me I am.
[4:11:39 PM] craig galvin: ok jake let me ask you one question
[4:11:46 PM] Jake: Shoot.
[4:11:51 PM] craig galvin: and its not meant to be personal or a dig in any way
[4:11:54 PM] craig galvin: ok let me clear that up first
[4:12:01 PM] Jake: No offense will be taken.
[4:12:04 PM] craig galvin: cool
[4:12:17 PM] craig galvin: you said
[4:12:27 PM] craig galvin: you are building a belief with what you believe will work
[4:12:28 PM] craig galvin: yes
[4:12:35 PM] Jake: Yes.
[4:12:38 PM] craig galvin: ok cool
[4:12:50 PM] craig galvin: so how do u know it may not work, if u r only just starting to study it?
[4:12:55 PM] craig galvin: isnt that a limiting belief,
[4:12:57 PM] craig galvin: ?
[4:13:16 PM] Jake: I suppose that is the path to understanding.
[4:13:26 PM] craig galvin: so if u were to limit urself
[4:13:26 PM] Jake: I ask questions because I am ignorant.
[4:13:37 PM] craig galvin: either knowingly or unknowingly
[4:13:45 PM] craig galvin: on some level
[4:13:52 PM] Jake: Mhmm.
[4:13:56 PM] craig galvin: would u want to open that door and see what is behind it?
[4:14:02 PM] craig galvin: to expand that knowledge?
[4:14:16 PM] Jake: I say that I do.
[4:14:26 PM] craig galvin: so you say that you do
[4:14:27 PM] craig galvin: ok
[4:14:29 PM] craig galvin: so what
[4:14:31 PM] craig galvin: if anything
[4:14:36 PM] craig galvin: if u were to imagine something that would say
[4:14:41 PM] craig galvin: YES this is what i need to do this
[4:14:49 PM] craig galvin: what would come to mind now?
[4:14:53 PM] craig galvin: anything
[4:15:10 PM] Jake: Do it, try it, repeat it.
[4:15:33 PM] Jake: If it doesn’t work, ask people who might know the cause of such.
[4:15:50 PM] Jake: Try it again, after trouble shooting.
[4:16:08 PM] Jake: Then develop it in a manner that might work.
[4:16:19 PM] Jake: Well, at least I would, if I knew how, of course
[4:16:22 PM] Jake: course*
[4:16:33 PM] craig galvin: ok cool
[4:16:37 PM] craig galvin: so do it
[4:16:38 PM] craig galvin: try it
[4:16:40 PM] craig galvin: repeat it
[4:16:44 PM] craig galvin: ask questions
[4:16:45 PM] craig galvin: trouble shoot
[4:16:49 PM] craig galvin: all makes for a good base
[4:17:07 PM] craig galvin: so in saying all that
[4:17:12 PM] craig galvin: what stops u from doing it on here?
[4:17:23 PM] Jake: I think, mainly, that hypnosis has just set me into a existential crisis.
[4:18:17 PM] Jake: I might have resisted because I want to be right and not to be proven wrong, in a sense.
[4:18:36 PM] craig galvin: ah ok,
[4:18:51 PM] craig galvin: so you want to not be proven wrong
[4:18:58 PM] craig galvin: and what would that wrong be like if it were to happen
[4:19:05 PM] craig galvin: how do u think that would feel
[4:19:18 PM] Jake: Defeated, yet enlightened.
[4:19:32 PM] Jake: Like a brand new beginning after a long journey.
[4:20:15 PM] craig galvin: i see because
[4:20:22 PM] Jake: Elrond: “Frodo bring the ring to Mordor, now.”
Frodo: “MORDOR!?! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-!!!!”
[4:20:22 PM] craig galvin: we all take journeys
[4:20:31 PM] craig galvin: ones which are long ones which are short
[4:20:52 PM] craig galvin: but if we choose to deny what we are being told and go on a base of knowledge which at the moment isnt correct or incorrect
[4:20:59 PM] craig galvin: just indifferent, we stay in the same place
[4:21:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: Jake
[4:21:07 PM] Jake: This is true.
[4:21:10 PM] Jake: Hey.
[4:21:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: Step into the defeated
[4:21:20 PM] Joe K Fobes: deep inside that sense
[4:21:20 PM] craig galvin: ah the master has returned
[4:21:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: lol
[4:21:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: I like that defeated
[4:21:34 PM] Jake: I want to.
[4:21:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: step into it
[4:21:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: be there now
[4:21:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: as if you had been proven utterly wrong
[4:21:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: imagine that this has happened
[4:21:59 PM] Jake: Mmmk.
[4:22:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: that you truly believed youre dead wrong
[4:22:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: proven
[4:22:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: no doubt
[4:22:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: how do you feel now
[4:22:23 PM] Jake: Horrible.
[4:22:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: awesome
[4:22:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: now go deeper into that horrible
[4:22:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: all the frickin way inside
[4:22:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: until
[4:22:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: it cant get any worse
[4:22:55 PM] Jake: May I cry?
[4:23:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: hell yes
[4:23:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: let go
[4:23:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: utterly
[4:23:08 PM] Jake: alright
[4:23:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: go all the way inside
[4:23:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: till you cant go any further
[4:23:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and now shut up
[4:23:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: shut that voice up
[4:23:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: the inside one
[4:23:35 PM] Joe K Fobes: stop all the words
[4:23:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: and feel the feeling
[4:23:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: horrible
[4:23:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: nothing to protect you
[4:23:59 PM] Joe K Fobes: just you and the feeling
[4:24:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: and do nothing
[4:24:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: just experience it
[4:24:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: in every single cell of your body
[4:24:15 PM] Jake: i dont want to.
[4:24:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: do you trust me?
[4:24:33 PM] Jake: yes.
[4:24:35 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[4:24:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: I swear
[4:24:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: this will be good
[4:24:45 PM] Jake: alright.
[4:24:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: now go
[4:24:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: no barriers
[4:24:57 PM] Joe K Fobes: no stopping
[4:24:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: go inside
[4:25:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: all the way
[4:25:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so nothing in there
[4:25:08 PM] Joe K Fobes: just exist
[4:25:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: you and the feeling
[4:25:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: noting else
[4:25:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: no silly words to help you
[4:25:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: no running away
[4:25:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: and sit there
[4:25:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: and try to make it worse
[4:25:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: try to double it
[4:25:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: and can it get worse? or is it the worst possible?
[4:26:07 PM] Jake: it can get worse
[4:26:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[4:26:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: make it worse
[4:26:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: until its as bad as it can be
[4:26:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: because this is going to open you up
[4:26:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: now do it
[4:26:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: and say ‘worst’ when its there
[4:26:53 PM] Jake: worst
[4:26:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect\
[4:27:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and can it get any worse?
[4:27:04 PM] Jake: no
[4:27:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[4:27:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: and now sit there
[4:27:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: feeling this feeling
[4:27:19 PM] Joe K Fobes: the worst you can feel
[4:27:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: the thing you have dreaded
[4:27:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: all this time
[4:27:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: the fear you have had of this
[4:27:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: how you built it up in your mind
[4:27:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: and notice how its a sensation
[4:27:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: you still exist
[4:27:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: youre still alive
[4:28:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: this feeling isnt you
[4:28:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: you are you
[4:28:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: and this feeling is this feeling
[4:28:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you realize that
[4:28:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: realize how easily
[4:28:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: it can drift away
[4:28:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: like a cloud on a windy day
[4:28:40 PM] Joe K Fobes: or butter melting in the hot sun
[4:28:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: the moment you notice the sensation
[4:28:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: of your hands
[4:29:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: the temperature of the air in the room
[4:29:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: this feeling
[4:29:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: begins to float away
[4:29:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: and youre still alive
[4:29:20 PM] Joe K Fobes: and how the worst
[4:29:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: is just a feeling
[4:29:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: that your body creates
[4:29:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: it feels real
[4:29:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: looks real
[4:29:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: sounds real
[4:29:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: and its a feeling
[4:29:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: and take that deep breath
[4:30:01 PM | Edited 4:30:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: and feel that wonderful body of yours
[4:30:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: get that shift
[4:30:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: inside
[4:30:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: deeply
[4:30:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: and what are you feeling now
[4:30:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: as that feeling finally washes away
[4:30:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: washing out of you
[4:30:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: totally and completely
[4:31:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: you have met the worst
[4:31:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: and youre still here
[4:31:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: and how are you feeling at this moment
[4:31:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: ?
[4:31:32 PM] Jake: Relieved, glad, and calm.
[4:31:35 PM] Joe K Fobes: indeed
[4:31:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: now
[4:31:38 PM] Jake: Hopeful.
[4:31:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: think about being proven wrong
[4:31:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: and how does that feel?
[4:32:14 PM] Jake: Not bad.
[4:32:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: not bad
[4:32:26 PM] Jake: Just another feeling.
[4:32:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: does it bother you at all?
[4:32:48 PM] Jake: No, not at this moment.
[4:33:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: not at this moment
[4:33:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: interesting
[4:33:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: you know
[4:33:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: isnt it weird
[4:33:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: how we feel all this fear
[4:33:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: of stuff
[4:33:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then
[4:33:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: it happens
[4:33:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: we do it
[4:33:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: and its like
[4:33:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: ‘that wasnt that bad after all…’
[4:33:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: ever had that type of experience?
[4:33:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: I had it once
[4:33:56 PM] Jake: Yes.
[4:34:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: jumping off a cliff into a river…
[4:34:08 PM] Joe K Fobes: and where did you have it?
[4:36:25 PM] Jake: When I was in middle school, I was mean. A horrible bully because I didn’t want to open up to people. I didn’t really care if they liked me or not or if I was wrong or right.

But, this girl was in trouble with a couple other bullies. She was crying, so I thought about what I’ve been doing.
[4:36:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[4:36:46 PM] Jake: If any of it was really worth it.
[4:36:54 PM] Jake: Not opening up to people, not caring.
[4:37:06 PM] Jake: It was so easy, not to do something.
[4:37:37 PM] Jake: I wanted to be more, but I was stuck in this stasis of meanness.
[4:37:55 PM] Jake: My shell made of fear.
[4:38:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[4:38:06 PM] Jake: I don’t know, I decided to help her.
[4:38:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then what happened
[4:38:30 PM] Jake: I guess because I knew I couldn’t keep this barrier up all the time.
[4:38:44 PM] Jake: Eventually I would have to answer to my evils.
[4:38:53 PM] Jake: So I broke it down, I decided to help.
[4:39:01 PM] Jake: Because she needed help.
[4:39:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then what happened
[4:39:49 PM] Jake: She knew me as someone who was horrible.
[4:40:16 PM] Jake: So she didn’t thank me, but just nodded and walked away.
[4:40:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[4:40:37 PM] Jake: I felt crushed. I finally did something good, but no thanks was given.
[4:40:48 PM] Jake: And that night I didn’t go to bed.
[4:41:11 PM] Jake: I could only think, “What was the point if I wasn’t going to get thanked?”
[4:41:44 PM] Jake: And I thought about it all that week.
[4:41:57 PM] Jake: And I realized, I didn’t really like being mean.
[4:42:01 PM] Jake: I just liked hiding.
[4:42:13 PM] Jake: So I decided, I don’t have to be mean.
[4:42:21 PM] Jake: I can be good and still hide.
[4:42:52 PM] Jake: So, I started being more passive, yet more responsive to other peoples needs.
[4:44:21 PM | Edited 4:44:36 PM] Jake: “I don’t need people’s thanks for being good.”
[4:44:55 PM] Jake: And I sure as hell didn’t want to be mean anymore.
[4:45:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm\
[4:45:05 PM] Jake: It was hard though.
[4:45:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so when was that moment
[4:45:15 PM] Jake: You construct a image for so long.
[4:45:19 PM] Joe K Fobes: when it all clicked
[4:45:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you couldnt go back to the old way
[4:45:31 PM] Jake: Making that wall so tough — like steel.
[4:45:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: no matter how hard you could try
[4:45:46 PM] Jake: But, I tore it down.
[4:45:50 PM] Jake: Bit, by bit.
[4:46:02 PM] Jake: And now, it is like a junkyard.
[4:46:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and its interesting
[4:46:22 PM] Jake: Desolate, with no life.
[4:46:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: junkyards are places
[4:46:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: desolate
[4:46:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: no life
[4:46:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: the soil rich with nutrients
[4:46:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: a perfect place
[4:46:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: to grow something new
[4:46:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: beautiful
[4:46:59 PM] Joe K Fobes: peaceful
[4:47:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: a place to learn
[4:47:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: and be
[4:47:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: where youre safe
[4:47:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: where you can be you
[4:47:13 PM] Jake: It’s a place to reflect.
[4:47:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and reflect
[4:47:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and allow your unconscious
[4:47:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: youre neural network
[4:47:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: to process
[4:47:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: all that
[4:47:35 PM] Joe K Fobes: under the surface
[4:47:36 PM] Jake: Mmmhmm.
[4:47:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: and come to that peace
[4:47:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: deeply inside now
[4:47:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as those old memories
[4:47:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: emotions
[4:47:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: feelings
[4:47:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: pass by
[4:48:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: in a single file
[4:48:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: like so many willing servants
[4:48:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: and each one
[4:48:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: carries
[4:48:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: a lesson
[4:48:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you learn the lesson
[4:48:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: from each servant
[4:48:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: his mission is done
[4:48:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: and he goes to a place of peace
[4:48:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: waiting for you to call on his strength
[4:48:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: for what you want
[4:48:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and each of them
[4:48:59 PM] Joe K Fobes: teaching you
[4:49:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: in this lovely
[4:49:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: peaceful way
[4:49:08 PM] Joe K Fobes: every single
[4:49:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: memory
[4:49:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: emotion
[4:49:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: feeling
[4:49:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: thought
[4:49:19 PM] Joe K Fobes: teaching
[4:49:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and moving on
[4:49:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: passing on
[4:49:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: deep things
[4:49:35 PM] Joe K Fobes: as you feel lighter
[4:49:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: lighter
[4:49:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: arming yourself
[4:49:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: with power
[4:49:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: a peaceful arming
[4:49:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: of lifting power
[4:49:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: which you knows
[4:50:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: will help you lift yourself
[4:50:08 PM] Joe K Fobes: almost without realizing
[4:50:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: just when the right
[4:50:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: arming yourself
[4:50:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: with the sense of lifting
[4:50:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: inside and out
[4:50:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: upwards
[4:50:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: and upwards
[4:50:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: waaay up in the air
[4:50:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: rising and lifting
[4:50:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: to that place
[4:51:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: where peace knows
[4:51:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: almost like a magnet
[4:51:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: tugging and pulling
[4:51:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: right upwards
[4:51:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: now
[4:51:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and allow your unconscious
[4:51:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: to process what it needs to process
[4:51:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: and do what it needs to do
[4:51:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when you notice whats happening
[4:51:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: simply watch
[4:51:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: in amazement
[4:51:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: as that happens now
[4:51:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: and feel wonderful
[4:51:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: until it has learned its lesson to you
[4:52:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you drop down inside
[4:52:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: to that place of peace
[4:52:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when that happens you can come back
[4:52:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: by typing the word
[4:52:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: ‘peace’
[4:52:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: taking all the time you need
[4:52:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: inside
[4:54:02 PM] Jake: peace.
[4:54:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: welcome back
[4:54:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and describe what was the most interesting about that 🙂
[4:54:30 PM] Jake: My arms, started floating.
[4:54:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: no way
[4:54:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: by themselves?!
[4:54:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: Oh lord
[4:54:54 PM] craig galvin: lol
[4:54:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: I must have mistakenly hypnotized you
[4:55:02 PM] craig galvin: ooops
[4:55:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: but but but
[4:55:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: you cant be hypnotized!
[4:55:11 PM] Jake: Yes, when you said, “as you feel lighter

lighter

arming yourself

with power

a peaceful arming

of lifting power

which you knows

will help you lift yourself

almost without realizing

just when the right

arming yourself

with the sense of lifting

inside and out

upwards

and upwards

waaay up in the air

rising and lifting

to that place

where peace knows

almost like a magnet

tugging and pulling

right upwards”
[4:55:23 PM] Jake: They started moving upwards.
[4:55:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: so interesting
[4:55:34 PM] Jake: And I felt very very very calm, peaceful, good.
[4:55:40 PM] Joe K Fobes: and did you know
[4:55:44 PM] Jake: I didn’t want it to stop so I just let them rise.
[4:55:59 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you didnt want that moment of being wrong to stop
[4:56:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: and it was peace
[4:56:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: calm
[4:56:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[4:56:15 PM] Jake: Yes!
[4:56:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and one can enjoy
[4:56:19 PM] Joe K Fobes: being wrong
[4:56:20 PM] Jake: That’s exactly it.
[4:56:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: interesting
[4:56:32 PM] craig galvin: funny that, i wonder if u noticed the work that set u up for that jake lol
[4:56:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: I wonder what all this means
[4:56:37 PM] Jake: It was fluffy, sweet, and slightly tangy.
[4:56:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: I never knew horrible could be that wonderful 🙂
[4:57:19 PM] Jake: Frothing in a effable bed of wisdom.
[4:57:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: So what does this all mean?
[4:57:51 PM] Jake: I don’t have to be afraid of being wrong.
[4:57:59 PM] Jake: It can be wonderful.
[4:58:17 PM] Jake: I don’t have to clench onto things like that anymore.
[4:58:20 PM] Joe K Fobes: wow
[4:58:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: and what does that mean?
[4:59:08 PM] Jake: I can learn as much as I want without holding onto unnecessary feelings.
[4:59:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: wow
[4:59:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: and that
[4:59:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: you can learn as much as you want
[4:59:30 PM] Jake: Because, I can feel these wonderful things.
[4:59:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: without holding onto unnecessary feelings
[4:59:38 PM] Jake: Me, myself, I.
[4:59:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you can feel these wonderful feelings
[4:59:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: what does that mean?
[5:00:01 PM] Jake: I have the wish to do it, I can.
[5:00:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: wow
[5:00:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: and do you want to go a bit further here Jake?
[5:00:36 PM] Jake: Yes, please.
[5:00:59 PM] Joe K Fobes: so if you have the wish to do it you can
[5:01:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: what
[5:01:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: does that mean…
[5:02:41 PM] Jake: I am independent, I don’t have to wait for someone to make me feel good.
[5:03:40 PM] Joe K Fobes: wow
[5:03:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: and one last one
[5:03:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: and go all the way this time
[5:04:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: really really get ready to see the ultimate truth now
[5:04:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: and are you ready?
[5:04:14 PM] Jake: Yes.
[5:04:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[5:04:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: so really now
[5:04:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: taking all these deep truths
[5:04:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: go all the way up
[5:04:57 PM] Joe K Fobes: looking down
[5:05:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: and see the ultimate truth
[5:05:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: about you
[5:05:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: and what is that truth you see now
[5:05:50 PM] Jake: I am not always going to be right, but that is okay because I enjoy learning new things. These new things can help others.
[5:06:08 PM] Joe K Fobes: keep going
[5:06:14 PM] Jake: As I learn, I will do, and as I do I will teach, and as I teach I will learn.
[5:06:20 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[5:06:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: and now
[5:06:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: look in your life
[5:06:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: and find 2 other examples
[5:06:35 PM] Joe K Fobes: of where this is true
[5:06:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: where you can be comfortable
[5:06:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: being wrong
[5:06:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: being independent
[5:07:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: no fear
[5:07:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and being ok with fear 🙂
[5:07:48 PM] Jake: Mmm.
[5:07:59 PM] Jake: It’s warm.
[5:08:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and have you found those 2 other clear examples
[5:08:31 PM] Jake: Yes.
[5:08:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[5:08:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and notice
[5:09:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: how they are different
[5:09:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: with these new knowing
[5:09:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: these new truths
[5:09:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: that are true for you
[5:09:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: and let that
[5:09:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: those changes filter into every single aspect in your life
[5:09:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when its done
[5:09:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: and the constant state of learning is deeply installed
[5:09:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: that curiosity
[5:09:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: wonder
[5:09:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: love and peace
[5:09:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: simply type DONE
[5:10:11 PM] Jake: DONE
[5:10:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[5:10:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: 🙂
[5:10:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: and there you have it
[5:10:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: life transformation
[5:10:52 PM] Joe K Fobes: arm lev
[5:10:56 PM] Jake: It is amazing.
[5:10:59 PM] craig galvin: lol
[5:11:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: indeed it is
[5:11:05 PM] craig galvin: rule 1 jake
[5:11:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: the arm lev was fun
[5:11:13 PM] craig galvin: never tell me or joe u cant be hypnotised online lol
[5:11:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: the covert part
[5:11:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: did you realize Jake, what I was doing before it lifted?
[5:11:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: or did it lift before you knew why?
[5:12:09 PM] Jake: I knew that I felt light inside.
[5:12:11 PM] craig galvin: very ericksonian in its thinking there joe
[5:12:20 PM] Jake: Then my whole body was being light.
[5:12:57 PM] Jake: So it was just like… “I’m floating up and feeling good about it, okay?”
[5:13:01 PM] craig galvin: Jake, keep a copy of this conversation,
[5:13:04 PM] craig galvin: read it
[5:13:10 PM] craig galvin: study it, see what we did there,
[5:13:23 PM] Jake: And I just thought, “Okay, I like it.”
[5:13:23 PM] craig galvin: even if Joe did hijack the trance lol
[5:13:33 PM] Jake: ^^
[5:13:55 PM] craig galvin: Joe saw the opening and went for it lol
[5:14:12 PM] Jake: I am most glad that he did.
[5:14:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: lol
[5:14:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: there were specific suggestions
[5:14:57 PM] Joe K Fobes: for the arm to lift to your nose
[5:15:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: your right arm specifically 🙂
[5:15:20 PM] Jake: My right arm?!
[5:15:26 PM] Jake: That is the one that rose first!
[5:15:27 PM] craig galvin: just a bit, i was laughing as u typed it
[5:15:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[5:16:04 PM] Jake: Was the word “Arming yourself” what did it?
[5:17:08 PM] Jake: “almost without realizing

just when the right

arming yourself

with the sense of lifting”
[5:17:09 PM] Joe K Fobes: as you feel lighter
[4:49:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: lighter
arm here—–>[4:49:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: arming yourself
[4:49:45 PM] Joe K Fobes: with power
arm again—->[4:49:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: a peaceful arming
[4:49:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: of lifting power
knows=nose—–>[4:49:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: which you knows
[4:50:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: will help you lift yourself
[4:50:08 PM] Joe K Fobes: almost without realizing
right—–>[4:50:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: just when the right
arm—->[4:50:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: arming yourself
[4:50:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: with the sense of lifting
[4:50:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: inside and out
[4:50:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: upwards
[4:50:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: and upwards
[4:50:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: waaay up in the air
[4:50:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: rising and lifting
[4:50:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: to that place
nose—->[4:51:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: where peace knows
[4:51:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: almost like a magnet
[4:51:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: tugging and pulling
right—->[4:51:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: right upwards
[4:51:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: now
[4:51:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and allow your unconscious
[4:51:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: to process what it needs to process
[4:51:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: and do what it needs to do
[4:51:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when you notice whats happening
[4:51:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: simply watch
[4:51:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: in amazement
[4:51:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: as that happens now
[4:51:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: and feel wonderful
[4:51:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: until it has learned its lesson to you
[4:52:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you drop down inside
[4:52:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: to that place of peace
[5:17:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: 🙂
[5:17:37 PM] craig galvin: right arming, right upwards, magnet, etc
[5:17:41 PM] Jake: That is incredible!
[5:17:42 PM] craig galvin: all combined very nicely
[5:17:57 PM] craig galvin: read it carefully, its all layered lol
[5:18:03 PM] Jake: I had only thought of the concepts of magnet, floating.
[5:18:14 PM] Jake: But not the “Right” and “arming” things.
[5:18:19 PM] Jake: That is amazing.
[5:18:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: magnet was way later 🙂
[5:18:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats your unconscious mind
[5:18:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: it KNEW
[5:18:33 PM] Jake: Wonderful.
[5:18:41 PM] Jake: I did know.
[5:18:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: exactly what the right thing was to do
[5:18:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: it knows
[5:18:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: it really knows
[5:19:02 PM] Jake: It was rising on its own!
[5:19:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[5:19:12 PM] Jake: No one was helping, not you, not me.
[5:19:14 PM] Jake: It was.
[5:19:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: without you ever consciously knowing what was going on
[5:19:25 PM] craig galvin: lol
[5:19:27 PM] craig galvin: hey joe
[5:19:29 PM] craig galvin: I think we got him
[5:19:31 PM] craig galvin: lol
[5:19:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: lol
[5:20:25 PM] craig galvin: this is why i love this occupation / hobby always learning, always enjoying and seeing things like this, is a really beautiful thing
[5:21:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: indeed
[5:21:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: in the hands of a master
[5:21:26 PM] Jake: Absolutely amazing.
[5:21:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: its art
[5:21:45 PM] Jake: Man, I’m showing this conversation to my whole family.
[5:21:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: 🙂
[5:21:50 PM] Jake: And to my friends.
[5:21:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: send them all on the upcoming course
[5:22:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: learn to do this stuff 🙂
[5:22:18 PM] Jake: I am amazed.
[5:22:23 PM] Jake: I am enlightened.
[5:22:27 PM] Joe K Fobes: 🙂
[5:22:31 PM] craig galvin: good good, we aim to please
[5:22:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: I think he’s had the wtf moment 🙂
[5:22:38 PM] craig galvin: joe is a true master
[5:22:41 PM] Jake: There is no words to describe this wonderful things.
[5:22:44 PM] craig galvin: erm i think so mate
[5:22:55 PM] craig galvin: i dont think his life will ever be the same lol
[5:23:05 PM] craig galvin: and the best part, is it will continue to grow lol

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Hypnotizing the Conscious

Here’s the standard line from the standard hypnotist “I can’t make you stop smoking, you need to want to stop”.

Let’s examine that now.

We as hypnotists work with the subconscious of our clients. Thats how we can get all the splendid hypnotic effects such as amnesia, hallucination, and ideomotor movement. We simply have the subconscious accept our suggestion for name amnesia, and presto like magic, they can’t remember their name no matter how hard they try and no matter how hard they want to.

Can someones SC work against their wishes? Of course it can! Look at any phobic, they didn’t ever want to become a phobic, they got hypnotized into it without their consent and without their willingness, and there doesn’t seem to be anything they can do to stop it.

We find that phenomena of people being unable to consciously fight the SC on many levels. We find it with emotion, thoughts, habits, and beliefs.

So if we as hypnotists work with out clients SC minds, so long as they follow our instructions during the session, why oh why would they have to consciously want to quit?

So here’s the thing. As good as we are as hypnotists, we aren’t perfect. So while we might change beliefs, habits, patterns, and emotions, for all we know there might be some pieces of the puzzle that we haven’t gotten to. Those remaining associations and learning can reinstall the old smoking issue.

Along with that, even if we did zap the smoking issue completely and remove all traces from the SC, the conscious mind of a person is their own hypnotist! Not always is it the most effective hypnotist (as we see in the case of a phobia), but it’s a hypnotist nonetheless. And so it’s possible that even after we have changed the SC so the problem is no longer there, they might rehypnotize themselves right back into the habit.

Recognizing that, we enlist the aid of their SC so that they don’t fight us and rehypnotize themselves, and so if we missed something, they will hypnotize themselves and finish the work.

And so to summarize, I think that we most certainly do not need the person to want to quit. So long as they come to us and follow instructions during the session, we can change the SC to the point that they can’t smoke no matter how much they want to. We can also change the SC to the point that smoking means nothing to them and holds no attraction for them.

However we do recognize that the way they think consciously has a powerful hypnotic effect on their SC. And so to make sure that the job gets done even when we haven’t done a perfect job, we enlist the help of their 24/7 hypnotist, and that is their conscious mind, to fill in what we missed. We also want to make sure that they don’t fight what we put in there and reinstall the habit.

This concept applies to almost any change we make. If we enlist the on-board hypnotist (the conscious) and teach him how to use his power well, we can have our clients finish the job that we started when what we did wasn’t quite enough.

So it’s a lie that the client needs to want to quit, but one that seems to work in the best interests of all involved.

Because of the demographic I often work with in my private practice (male, 18-30, Lawyers, Engineers, and Scientists) I get a lot of clients with very active conscious minds. And so I have had to develop a whole range of techniques and ideas to work with them and ‘hypnotize’ the conscious. In my upcoming online group hypnosis supervision you will have a chance to learn my methods and practice them with live feedback in class.

You can find more information and sign up here.

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Text Therapy

Here is a small and quick piece of changework that I did with a young hypnotist who had worked with a friend and made some mistakes. He was in a pretty bad state, and I helped him move through it and learn something as well.

Now this obviously was rather easy as it was only a simple state change, and you can take the ideas used and apply them to more complex cases.

None of this was planned, it was all ‘in the moment’. If you want to learn hypnosis and therapy and train your mind to be able to create powerful therapeutic approaches ‘in the moment’ you can go sign up for the online supervision group.

Enjoy!

[2:46:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: I talk to the SC all the time…
[2:47:04 PM] Joe K Fobes: its called ideomotor signaling
[2:47:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: have you ever had a finger twich by itself?
[2:47:49 PM] Steven: Hmm not really
[2:48:00 PM] Steven: I’ve had my eyelids twitching by themselves tho
[2:48:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: so every part of your body is always perfectly still?
[2:48:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: do this
[2:48:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: put your wrist on the table
[2:48:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: and float your fingers
[2:48:27 PM] Steven: k
[2:48:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: float
[2:48:40 PM] Joe K Fobes: now watch those fingers
[2:48:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: and twitch one of them
[2:48:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: a few times
[2:49:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then stop twitching it
[2:49:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and watch it
[2:49:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: and let me know when it does a little twitch by itself
[2:49:27 PM] Steven: ohh
[2:49:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[2:49:31 PM] Steven: woah
[2:49:33 PM] Steven: why?
[2:49:36 PM] Joe K Fobes: so thats the yes finger
[2:49:38 PM] Steven: that’s so strange?
[2:49:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: now, go and make a no finger
[2:49:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: so twitch the no finger
[2:49:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: a few times
[2:49:55 PM] Steven: can it be on the other hand?
[2:50:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then let it do it itself
[2:50:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: well I want you to be able to type
[2:50:10 PM] Steven: kk
[2:50:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: so pick a hand
[2:50:14 PM] Joe K Fobes: do the yes finger
[2:50:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and then the no one
[2:50:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: and tell when you have that
[2:51:19 PM] Steven: hmm the other finger is not reacting
[2:51:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[2:51:28 PM] Steven: only the yes finger seems to be twitching when I concentrate on it
[2:51:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: so look at the yes finger
[2:51:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: and Im going to ask your SC something
[2:51:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: and that finger will respond
[2:51:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: is that ok with you?
[2:51:50 PM] Steven: yes
[2:51:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:52:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC of Steven, does Steven have parents?
[2:52:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and watch the finger respond
[2:52:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: and tell me its response
[2:52:33 PM] Steven: yes finger moved
[2:52:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:52:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind, does Steven have siblings?
[2:53:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: and once again tell me its response
[2:53:21 PM] Steven: yes finger moved
[2:53:23 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[2:53:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: no we will install the no finger
[2:53:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: ready?
[2:53:32 PM] Steven: ok
[2:53:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: watch the hand in response to this question
[2:53:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: and notice which other finger goes
[2:54:00 PM] Steven: ok
[2:54:22 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, has Steven ever raped a woman?
[2:54:54 PM] Steven: hmm
[2:55:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: what do you get
[2:55:03 PM] Steven: my hand has no response
[2:55:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[2:55:07 PM] Steven: but I can feel a tingle
[2:55:09 PM] Steven: in my pinky
[2:55:11 PM] Joe K Fobes: watch it and I’ll ask again
[2:55:15 PM] Joe K Fobes: and this time it will answer
[2:55:18 PM] Joe K Fobes: fully
[2:55:19 PM] Steven: ok
[2:55:29 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, has Steven ever killed a human being?
[2:56:23 PM] Steven: hmm
[2:56:30 PM] Steven: my index finger is my yes finger
[2:56:33 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[2:56:38 PM] Steven: and I can see my pinky and ring finger shaking
[2:56:42 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[2:56:45 PM] Steven: but not as big of a twitch as the yes finger
[2:56:49 PM] Joe K Fobes: so now onto the good stuff
[2:56:56 PM] Joe K Fobes: it gets stronger as we move on
[2:56:59 PM] Steven: ok
[2:57:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC mind, your job is to give Steven the best life possible, is that true?
[2:57:43 PM] Steven: yes
[2:59:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind he had an event with this girl which you feel is important, yes?
[3:00:12 PM] Steven: yes but its a smaller twitch
[3:00:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: perfect
[3:00:50 PM] Joe K Fobes: and SC mind, you have the ability to create any though or emotion, or memory or imagination in his mind, isn’t that so?
[3:01:23 PM] Steven: overwhelming yes
[3:01:25 PM] Steven: omg
[3:01:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:01:40 PM] Steven: i felt a pulse from my head move down to the yes finger
[3:02:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so SC mind, would it be ok for you to have him experience being a brilliant and experienced hypnosis expert (pick your favorite) and as he experiences that, have him get a really clear perspective on what happened?
[3:03:52 PM] Steven: hmmm..
[3:04:04 PM] Steven: it stays relatively still
[3:04:16 PM] Steven: but whenever I dont focus on my hand
[3:04:17 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats fine
[3:04:32 PM] Steven: it like my pinky is tugging slightly
[3:04:38 PM] Joe K Fobes: thats fine
[3:04:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: SC mind, youre here to help Steven, yes?
[3:05:01 PM] Steven: yes
[3:05:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: and you can create anything in his mind, yes?
[3:05:20 PM] Steven: yes
[3:05:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: does it make sense to you, that perhaps experiencing this from the perspective of an experienced hypnotist, that he will learn important new things?
[3:06:24 PM] Steven: yes
[3:06:38 PM] Steven: but my pinky felt weird
[3:07:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: and so since you can create anything in his mind, and youre here to help him, and it does make sense on some level, would it be ok for you to create that experience for him?
[3:07:19 PM] Steven: yes
[3:07:39 PM] Joe K Fobes: ok
[3:08:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: so SC mind, please go ahead and do that now. Close his eyes, and have him experience that, and when he has learned what he needs to learn, open his eyes and have him report back. You can take as long as full minute or even as short as 10 seconds to do that now.
[3:10:00 PM] Steven: wow
[3:10:12 PM] Steven: that was… rather enlightening
[3:10:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: indeed
[3:10:23 PM] Steven: I’m usually on the other end of the hypnosis
[3:10:26 PM] Joe K Fobes: tell me about the parts that youre aware of consciously right now?
[3:10:29 PM] Steven: so its weird experiencing it
[3:10:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:10:32 PM] Steven: especially when I closed my eyes
[3:10:33 PM] Steven: and It felt like
[3:10:36 PM] Steven: I dno
[3:10:42 PM] Steven: I was looking at myself hypnotizing the girl
[3:10:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:10:49 PM] Steven: like it was like watchin it from up above
[3:10:51 PM] Steven: weird feeling
[3:10:53 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:11:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and what did you notice consciously that you learned about that
[3:11:20 PM] Steven: I noticed that I shouldn’t have dealt with her family issues
[3:11:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:11:33 PM] Steven: she said that she was whispering because her father was yelling at her
[3:11:37 PM] Steven: and I only focused on her
[3:11:37 PM] Joe K Fobes: mhmm
[3:11:43 PM] Steven: the fact that it had to do with her father
[3:11:51 PM] Steven: went completely through me
[3:11:54 PM] Steven: during the hypnosis
[3:11:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:12:01 PM] Joe K Fobes: quite a powerful insight
[3:12:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: what else did you learn
[3:12:07 PM] Steven: as part of metaphorically frame the issue
[3:12:17 PM] Steven: I made her visualize the trauma she was experiencing
[3:12:25 PM] Steven: in terms of images that couldnt touch her
[3:12:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:12:34 PM] Steven: kind of like ghosts
[3:12:51 PM] Steven: that was … sorry for my language, but fucking stupid
[3:13:00 PM] Joe K Fobes: lol
[3:13:11 PM] Steven: it was so obvious that she was dealing with her trauma in a suppressive way
[3:13:15 PM] Steven: it was obvious it happened the day before
[3:13:28 PM] Joe K Fobes: good
[3:13:32 PM] Joe K Fobes: so now do this
[3:13:35 PM] Steven: yet I still forced her to imagine it
[3:13:41 PM] Joe K Fobes: float right above that Steven
[3:13:46 PM] Joe K Fobes: doing those things
[3:13:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: and realize how being the person he is
[3:14:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: he isnt quite aware
[3:14:12 PM] Joe K Fobes: that he needs to be aware of this stuff
[3:14:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: are you noticing that?
[3:14:40 PM] Steven: I felt my vision blur for a moment just now
[3:14:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:14:44 PM] Steven: and my head is a bit heavy
[3:14:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:15:06 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you notice that younger you, doing what he’s doing
[3:15:10 PM] Joe K Fobes: based on what he knows
[3:15:16 PM] Joe K Fobes: and who he is
[3:15:24 PM] Joe K Fobes: making decisions that to him seem to be wise
[3:15:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: you learn what you need to learn from that
[3:15:43 PM] Joe K Fobes: in a healthy and integrated fashion
[3:15:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: and as you learn that
[3:15:51 PM] Joe K Fobes: the emotion fades
[3:15:54 PM] Joe K Fobes: fades away
[3:16:03 PM] Joe K Fobes: as you have learned what you need to learn
[3:16:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: its a part of you now
[3:16:13 PM] Joe K Fobes: and your SC can now release that emotion
[3:16:21 PM] Joe K Fobes: and when its done doing that
[3:16:30 PM] Joe K Fobes: you can come fully back to the present fully awake
[3:16:47 PM] Joe K Fobes: feeling that relief wash through your mind and body now
[3:16:55 PM] Joe K Fobes: releasing that emotion
[3:17:05 PM] Joe K Fobes: and becoming fully free
[3:17:14 PM] Steven: phew im back
[3:17:23 PM] Steven: wow
[3:17:25 PM] Joe K Fobes: welcome back
[3:17:31 PM] Joe K Fobes: you feel good, dont you
[3:17:31 PM] Steven: my mind feels … like clear
[3:17:34 PM] Joe K Fobes: yes
[3:17:34 PM] Steven: yah
[3:17:36 PM] Steven: like awake
[3:17:42 PM] Steven: I dno, I remember what happened during the trance
[3:17:44 PM] Joe K Fobes: it was good that you experienced that
[3:17:48 PM] Steven: but like
[3:17:48 PM] Joe K Fobes: learned your lesson
[3:17:58 PM] Joe K Fobes: and are now free to move on
[3:17:59 PM] Steven: it felt like .. ages
[3:18:02 PM] Joe K Fobes: yeps
[3:18:07 PM] Joe K Fobes: time distortion is one of the things
[3:18:26 PM] Steven: wow
[3:18:28 PM] Steven: thanks a lot Joe

If you want to get a taste of how to easily do work like that, go sign up for the online supervision group now!

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Learn Hypnosis and Therapy

So you’ve been reading and learning about hypnosis and therapy for a while but you have semiaritits. That’s when you have learned a massive amount, keep going to seminars, but you can’t seem to go out and actully start working with people.

But, you well know that the only way to really learn hypnosis and therapy is to work with live clients. Theory is nice and good, and live work is a whole different thing!

So what do you do? It’s kind of hard to start experimenting on people when you don’t have the experience… but getting experience is hard to get without working with people! So how do you learn hypnosis and therapy when you’re in this situation?

Traditional therapists have a middle road. They intern by some other experienced therapist, they get supervised, and so get the experience.

But what is a hypnotist to do?!

And so I’m excited to announce that I’ll be doing a 10 week, online, therapy/hypnosis supervision!

Approximately once a week we will have a group conference call in which someone will play client (with a real problem they have, a problem a client has, or a theoretical issue), and someone else will play therapist. As the session goes on there will be live feedback from myself and the rest of the group on what to do next and how to proceed.

You will learn my powerful “what do you want” framework.

You will learn “pancaking”.

You will learn how to use ABTC.

You will learn how to use provocation.

You will learn how to create powerful change conversationally.

You will learn to use my very powerful approach. It’s logical, rational, and airtight.

You will learn how to respond with flexibility, power, and grace without needing to plan out your sessions in advance.

You will learn how to create your very own techniques that will work best for you and your clients.

I have spent a long time studying the ingredients for long term powerful change, and the time has come to start teaching them.

“My main aim with hypnosis has always been to use it as a tool to help people get over their personal problems. When I first got in touch with Joe, I had been in the hypnosis game for no more than a few months. Up until that point I had consumed pretty much every hypnosis material I could get my hands on. However, no matter how many books I read or how many videos I watched, I felt my learning curve was rapidly approaching its peak. Already after my first talk with Joe I realized I had stumbled upon one of the most intellectual people in the hypnosis and therapy field, and that is a belief that has stayed with me ever since. Joe is incredibly gifted when it comes to finding solutions to whatever problems you present him. And not only that, he also has the essential and rare ability to teach his skills to others. Nevertheless Joe is one of the most sympathetic people I know and a great friend. Now, I don’t think I have to mention what happened to that learning curve…”

-Tobias Norrbom

If you’re already doing hypnosis and therapy and looking for the secrets to long term change, this supervision will be very valuable. We have all had those clients who seem to be “impossible”. You sometimes feel that you’re working too hard to make them change. It’s time to learn how to get the client to do all the hard work while you sit back and watch!

The tuition will be under $1000 USD.

The supervision group will be very small and space is very limited. It’s going to be on a first come first served.

Want to know more?

Simply sign up here, and I’ll let you know more as soon as I iron out the details.

—–UPDATE—–

The first meeting will be Tuesday April 5th at 12PM EST. The second meeting will be April 12th at 12PM EST. After that we will schedule based on the needs of the group members.

Tuition will be $300 for the full 10 weeks. This price includes a free copy of my DVD ‘Hypnosis in therapy’.

You can sign up here.

 

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When NLP fails…

NLP is the ultimate hypnotic metaphor for analyticals. They love to believe that working with people is exactly like programming a computer.

The problem is, it’s not a fair comparison.

Here’s why.

There are too many parameters and variables involved in a human for that model to work. A computer is a controlled environment where what you do and what affects your code is clearly defined and controlled. There are no complexities and other factors affecting what goes on.

A person is a very complex thing in which every communication has so many variable effects that to say “if you do X then Y will happen” doesn’t hold up.

You can point to trends and techniques that often lead in the direction of a desired outcome, but to think about it in black and white terms, that A always results in B,like a computer, like NLP does, that doesn’t really work.

A fair comparison to a computer would be to one that is constantly being programmed by many other programmers too, that has been previously programmed in many ways that interact and change how the things you’re inputting affect it, that you have poor information as to the input and output at any given moment, and that has it’s own free will and choice to accept or reject what your inputting!

How many times has the “subconscious” agreed to change using real genuine ideomotor signals, and then hasn’t changed… According to NLP that can’t happen.

How many times has the fast phobia cure not worked. According to NLP it MUST work. I heard an interesting interview with Jorgen Rassmusen who talks about being by a seminar by Bandler where Bandler did the FPC and it didn’t work. How Grinder fails. How they all fail. Even though they do the techniques perfectly.

This misperception that NLP installs, that people can be simply manipulated with perfect results by using this model, simply doesn’t hold up in the real world with real clients.

Find someone who claims it does, and thats someone telling you that he doesn’t actually work with clients.

And thats why so many NLP guru master trainer people are still messed up… Why don’t they just go in there and zap a few submodalities around?!

Once you realize that we aren’t working with computers, that we’re working with real, live, complex, human beings, you begin to look for ways to maximize your success and for ways to create the most change possible, realizing that even after the ‘perfect session’ it’s still possible that the problem remains!

This is one of the core concepts I work with and teach.

If you found these ideas useful, you might be interested in joining my online supervision group.

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Secrets of the Subconscious Part II

(You can find part I here)

Imagine a small child, around the age of 18 months or so, who is just beginning to learn about language and abstraction. Learning that there can be ‘the thing’ and ‘the thing but not the thing’. This understanding is key in learning language as words are an abstraction, an idea. They symbolize the thing but are not the thing themselves.

This is what differentiates humans from animals. This is why animals can’t learn language (outside of a few words that are pushed in via brute force Pavlovian conditioning). They can’t grasp ‘ideas’. That something can mean something but not be that thing itself. And so they are restricted to the world of concrete things and realities, they can’t go beyond that and think about pure ideas.

As this child ‘gets’ this concept and begins learning language a wonderful thing starts to happen. The child begins to engage in imaginary play.

How are those two things related?

It’s simple. Before one can distinguish between a reality and an idea, they can’t distinguish between fake and real. After all, ‘fake’ is real with the idea of fake wrapped around it. One who can’t understand abstract ideas can’t understand fake.

And so before a child knows about fake and real they can’t imagine, as if they did imagine they would be psychotic! They wouldn’t be able to realize that their imagination isn’t the reality, and they would respond to their imagined world as if it were real. That would be quite dangerous. If a child imagined that there was no fire and there was, and they didn’t realize that their imagination wasn’t the reality, they would stick their hand in that spot and get burned.

And so once we gain the ability to distinguish between real and fake, it becomes safe to imagine. Losing that ability to know whats real and whats fake would be the most dangerous thing that can happen to us.

We mentioned in Secrets of the Subconscious Part I that when we find our beliefs challenged we get very emotional. When our beliefs are challenged, we are in essence being told ‘your reality is not reality, something else is reality’. That to our subconscious, the message that you should start believing a fantasy as reality, is a very dangerous message.

This brings us to why techniques like EFT work so well. When someone does EFT, instead of fighting their emotions and reality as they usually do, instead they accept it and allow it to be. The moment you do that, your SC feels very safe and no longer needs to fight you.

The lesson is a simple one. Just like when you argue with others they get very defensive and try to defend themselves at any cost, when you argue with yourself and your own SC mind, it fights back to protect it’s reality and won’t give an inch. The secret is kindness, understanding, and diplomacy… with your own mind.

In the next segment of Secrets of the Subconscious, I will give you a super powerful tool that holds the key to controlling how you feel in any situation. This is what I teach and give to almost to all my clients right after the very first session. Using that magic technique, you can respect the message that your SC sends you and you can then persuade it to act differently. Once you do that, you become unstoppable!